It’s Warrior Wednesday, and “No” Is Sometimes the Most Important Word…

fear11“No can be the most important ‘yes’ you’ve ever said.”

One of the most common problems faced by people around the world is an inability to say no. People don’t feel that they can say no; they feel pressured to always make other people happy. No is just a word many people can’t say… and I’m telling you that No might be the most important word you may ever learn to say confidently. Have you ever thought about the millions of problems that could be avoided by someone just saying “no” and saying nothing further? No… No… No… No…

Warrior Wednesday is all about empowering you, and giving you the tools that you need to make your life better. No is just another one of those tools that will serve you well. Deep down, nobody wants to say no, but sometimes we have to, and our lives are better for having said it.
“No” Never Means “Yes”

You know some salesmen say that a “No” is just a “Yes”? Well, they’re wrong. When you feel deep down that your answer is “No,” it’s “NO!” That’s the important thing to remember. When you are saying “No” you mean “No.”
Cut Out the Conversation

One of the best ways for people to get around “No” is by continuing a conversation and going around the side of your “No.” When you say “No” to someone—I’d suggest cutting the rest of the conversation short. It’s no, and don’t give anyone the chance to turn your “No” into a yes.

It Feels Bad…

Saying “no” can feel bad. It really can. But when you truly want to say “No,” you should just say “No.” Nobody can force you to do anything. You call the shots in your life, and you control what you do. Try not to feel bad for saying “No.” Just do it and move on.

But!

The most common response to “No” is “But…” and those buts can go on for a long time. Try to just keep your direction and move forward with it. Don’t listen to the reasoning and arguments of others. Don’t be persuaded or sold on doing something you don’t want to do. Every time you hear “but” think “No!”

One No at a Time

You won’t wake up tomorrow with the ability to say “No,” but you should start saying it in your head. You should try to envision what it would look like to tell someone “No.” If you can comfortably visualize saying “no,” you can actually say it whenever you want. Practice saying “no” in front of the mirror—and every single time you need to say it, say it. It could save your life.

Dr. Princess Fumi Hancock, DNP, MA, BSN
Your Vision Midwife, Lifestyle Entrepreneur
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Holding Back the Fears: Conquering Fears — Part 8

fear11The only thing normally holding many people back—and away from their dreams—is themselves. They suffer from terrible fears when they try to better their lives. Inner fears like frustration, failure and lack of confidence allow some to be talked out of success by their own demons. These fears control the lives of many people but can be conquered. This new series of blog articles is all about fears that will hold you back—and how to conquer them. This week we are going to look at a fairly common fear that stops people from reaching their full potential. This is a fear of losing your freedom.

Sometimes, success means that we have less time to do the things we want. Many of us just take this as a given—Rome wasn’t built on vacations, after all. But for some people, the fear of actually losing their free time is so crippling they would rather not have any part in a more successful and productive life.

This is sometimes called a fear of commitment, and it really is. It’s a gripping fear that will stop you getting involved in some of the most life-changing aspects of your life. These aspects can range from marriage, all the way up to taking an executive position in a company.

Recognizing Your Phobia

The first step is overcoming your fear of commitment is working out what you’re actually afraid of. Because—and you might not realize this—you’re not actually afraid of commitment.

Overcoming Your Phobia

More Freedom Feeds Freedom

If you wake up when you want to, to go to a job that is an expression of what you really believe in, hang out with inspiring people who value your opinion and demand that you do what you’re really passionate about, then you’re not going to really care about those few hours at night, and commitment won’t seem like such a scary proposition.

You’re going to feel free already, regardless of what happens between 6pm and 10pm.

Fulfil Desires

If you are using your time to fulfil your desires, you are going to feel accomplished. If you feel accomplished, you are not going to feel so stressed about commitment or losing freedom. If you spend your days doing the things you want, you can use the nights to do things that wouldn’t necessarily be your first choice of activity.

Careful Relationships

If you are careful about the relationships you allow to grow, you will find that your commitment to them isn’t stifling at all. The stifling relationships are the ones we don’t want, and when we are feeling trapped, those are the ones we will fight hardest against. Be careful who you create a relationship with, and you should find commitment easier to handle.

Friends

As with many problems, a problem shared is a problem halved. Do you have someone in your life that you trust? If you do, then now might be the time to turn to them for some help. If you don’t—you may need to correct that problem first. If you are without anyone with whom to share your problems, you need to start creating careful relationships.

Dr. Princess Fumi Hancock, DNP, MA, BSN
Your Vision Midwife, Lifestyle Entrepreneur
Radio/TV Host
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https://katch.me/PrincessinSub/
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Publishing A Book: Types of Publishing: Part One

once uponAfter writing a book, many people want to know how one goes about publishing a book. A well-known author once said recently that “it’s no great feat to get one’s book published—it’s no great mountain to climb.” He is right, but his opinion is subjective. To you, reading this blog, it is a huge mountain to climb to get your book published. There are many paths you can take up that mountain, but it is still a huge feat.

So what I would suggest is that you look at the two different types of publishing. Self-publishing and traditional publishing. Both have huge pros and cons—and both differ greatly.

Self-Publishing

Hundreds of thousands of books are published each year on self-publishing platforms like Amazon KDP and Createspace, Draft2Digital, Barnes & Noble, and the list goes on. But what does it actually mean to self-publish? It means that you will have a book on the market for purchase on a platform that will do no promotion for you. You will be promoting your own book, but that’s a good thing because you can control price, keywords, optimization, content, description and all the other goodies that a major publisher probably won’t let you change. You can also run promotions through these platforms and allow your imagination to take over. On the other hand, you will be the one paying for editing, cover design, promotions and the costs that would normally be covered by a reputable publisher. Self-published paperback books are held in disregard by many for being of lesser quality—but as print-on-demand platforms like Createspace grow, their standards have grown, too.

Traditional Publishing

Traditional publishing is the old, tried and tested way of getting a book onto the market. You will, in many cases, have secured an agent who will fight the good fight to get your book picked up by a publisher. The publisher, if reputable, will cover the costs of editing, designing a cover, and to some degree, promoting your book. You will have little control of the way your book is presented, you will be bound by contract to the whims of the publisher, and you will be given royalty statements every six months or so to show progress. You will not get an advance unless you are a very popular author or an author they feel will be very popular, for example a celebrity with a memoir to sell. You will be constrained by being traditionally published but will save on all the costs and headaches of publishing a book.

Dr. Princess Fumi Hancock, DNP, MA, BSN
Your Vision Midwife, Lifestyle Entrepreneur
Radio/TV Host
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It’s Warrior Wednesday and There’s A World of Choice

“Unless you try to find something… you won’t know the options to take…”

fear1Sometimes I wonder if people realize the amount of choices they have. Sometimes it’s hard to see any other alternative, and sometimes it’s tough to really see past the walls that face us down every single day. For example, take someone who is looking for a job, for the first time, a brand new jobseeker. He, or she, has no work experience, no credibility with an employer, and is likely to, have a low earning capability. How does that person see past all the negative things they have found themselves looking at? Well the first step would be to look at the choices and opportunities surrounding them. What can they offer? What do they want? It might not be easy to become a doctor overnight—but there are industries where a newbie can be given the scope to grow, fairly easily. Take the sales industry, for example. Age doesn’t matter, experience can help—but isn’t essential—but talent matters? If you are a person who likes people you may be looking at the wrong industry—you may want to give sales a chance. Now what else do you like doing? Look at what you have, what you want and then go for what you feel to be the right choice.

Day-To-Day Opportunities

It has been said that being in a job will help you get a job. But that doesn’t mean you should give up on getting employment. Try looking at some of the opportunities that come to you every single day. Is the lawn overgrown on the house yonder? Go over and see if they would like to hire someone to give it a trim. Is there something wrong with your neighbours fence? Maybe they would like it to be mended. We are reminded daily that there are jobs to be done—and those jobs do not necessarily take place in an office.

Money, what’s it good for?

Absolutely everything! But you can make just as much money being self-employed as you can from any job, anywhere. It’s a fact. A gardener can make as much money as a top level executive—without the stress level. Yes, a corporate job will give you money, but a simple gardening job will give you money too. Don’t make your judgements based on money though—make your choice based on the job, your ability, your need and the way your gut feels.

The Dream Job…

Isn’t always your first job. If you do take a job that isn’t your dream job, don’t despair! Try to make the very best of it. The experience you will gain will make you a stronger candidate for your dream job.

Nobody Matters ‘Cept Yourself

Yes we need to earn money to pay for this, that and the other. Yes it does take money to live… but you have but one life to live and you should always try to do what you want to do. Don’t be pressured—if you want to aim high… take a step ladder and climb as quickly as you dare.

One Step at a Time

As always this is important. Some people reach the top by 25. Some people reach the top at 85. Some people never reach the top. It isn’t a race—it’s an experience. Every single day is an experience and don’t worry about getting anywhere too quickly. Try to enjoy everything as it happens, and don’t let yourself be conned into thinking that you aren’t making good progress.

Dr. Princess Fumi Hancock, DNP, MA, BSN
Your Vision Midwife, Lifestyle Entrepreneur
Radio/TV Host
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Holding Back the Fears: Conquering Fears — Part 7

fear1The only thing normally holding many people back—and away from their dreams—is themselves. They suffer from terrible fears when they try to better their lives. Inner fears like frustration, failure and lack of confidence allow some to be talked out of success by their own demons. These fears control the lives of many people but can be conquered.

This new series of blog articles is all about fears that will hold you back—and how to conquer them. One of those fears is so great it leads people to spend their whole life inside their homes. That fear is called Agoraphobia.

Agoraphobia is a very common condition that makes a person avoid a number of otherwise ordinary activities and places, including many that the person used to enjoy before their trouble started. This avoidance usually develops in response to panic attacks. Because a panic attack can be such an upsetting and scary experience, people are naturally motivated to do whatever they can to avoid additional attacks. Unfortunately, it’s precisely a person’s efforts to protect himself from panic which create the greater problem of Agoraphobia.

A typical example would be a person who avoids several ordinary activities and situations, such as highway driving, large supermarkets, and crowded cinemas and churches. Even a mild case can be a big burden, because people with Agoraphobia experience lots of shame, frustration, and anticipatory worry, in addition to the loss of the ability to participate in activities they used to enjoy.

Recognizing Your Phobia

Agoraphobia comes about when a person with Panic Disorder gets tricked into believing that he (or she) has a “safe zone” within which he is “protected” from the ravages of a panic attack, and beyond which he is subject to great danger. It leads him to believe that if he limits his activities, and engages in other protective behaviors, he might be able to prevent more attacks.

Overcoming Your Phobia

Avoidance Is Never the Answer

The effort to limit your activities and travel in the hopes of avoiding panic attacks rarely, if ever, results in anything positive. You might avoid panic attacks a lot of the time, but the anxiety never goes away, because you’re always worried about the “next time.” The more you avoid, the more anxious you become, and next thing you know, your life has become quite limited and filled with worry and shame. That’s the heart of the problem.

Safety Isn’t Safer

Safety behaviors foster the illusion that you are protected from danger, but they actually keep your fear alive over time. They seem to be a help, but they’re actually part of the problem, in disguise. Try not to do the safe thing. Try to break the habit and do what you want to do.

Other People

From your window, watch other people as they leave their homes and enjoy a happy, fruitful life. Wouldn’t you like to be part of that? Wouldn’t you like to sit in a café, go shopping or enjoy your day by spending it in the park? How about that sunshine? The flowers? How about those opportunities? You can expand your world—and you will want to expand your world once you discover what it has to offer. It’s a wonderful world out there—if only you’ll give it a chance.

Small Steps

Today is such a lovely day. Why don’t we spend it in the garden? Look at the back of your house. Doesn’t the garden look interesting? You can go out and spend the afternoon outside, with a coffee and a good book. You don’t need to interact with anyone. But you can take a smaller step into a much, much bigger world.

Friends

Do you have a good friend you can trust? Why don’t you invite your friend over to go to the park? If you can find someone who will take their time and go with you—why shouldn’t you just do it? Parks across the world are safe—there’s nothing to harm you. The police always patrol the park and other park dwellers will be sure to keep an eye on you. Wouldn’t you like to take a stroll in the grass and enjoy such a sunny day?

Dr. Princess Fumi Hancock, DNP, MA, BSN
Your Vision Midwife, Lifestyle Entrepreneur
Radio/TV Host
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Bring The World A Bestseller: A Writing Guide: Part 5

People are always asking about writing their own books. It seems rather simple, doesn’t it? You get your laptop, open Word and off you go. A few pages in, you start to question your story. “It’s not very good, is it?” you say. You start to wander away from the story, and suddenly you’re on Google, reading about the 2005 election. You have lost the vitality you need to keep to write a book. This is the fifth of a five-part series on publishing a book. We are going to go over a few goals, a few settings and a few ideas that will help you get that book finished. This week I’d like to touch upon one of the most popular types of book—the memoir.

There is nothing quite like delving into the life of someone interesting, experiencing the things that people have gone through and succeeded at. There is nothing more heartbreaking, at times, than reading the story of someone’s loss. You may want to write the story of your life, and I’ve prepared some tips to help you do just that!

Starting Point

Start at the most interesting point of your life. When was that? Had you just climbed a mountain? Held your child for the first time? What will draw readers into a story about your life?

once upon

Letters, photos, diary entries, and other mementos will bring back memories and inspire you. Did you forget something? Don’t you remember? Talk to your friends and family, and ask them to share stories and memories. The likelihood is that you will remember more than you thought you did.

Just Do It

Sometimes writers can spend too long planning their books. It’s natural—you want it to be as perfect as possible, but I wouldn’t recommend it. I would say that starting to write and keeping at it will allow your creative juices to roll. You know the story already—but the experience of continuous writing will help you creatively display the things you want to say.

Third or First Person?

Memoirs are a personal thing, and because of that most of them work best in the first person narrative. There is nothing like that fireside story manner you can get from reading a memoir. “I climbed the mountain slowly and looking down, realized how far up I was…” Gripping isn’t it?

Cut, Cut, Cut!

Most memoir writers will tell you that they went through many different versions of their book before they got the perfect one. You don’t need to change the very essence of the memoir—but sometimes you do need to cut some of the things that bog down readers. Is that conversation too long? Did I dwell too long on that incident? Do I really need to tell people about that? And so on.

Dr. Princess Fumi Hancock, DNP, MA, BSN
Your Vision Midwife, Lifestyle Entrepreneur
Radio/TV Host
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https://katch.me/PrincessinSub/
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It’s Warrior Wednesday And I’m Asking If You Watch Your Steps

“Just a few steps can take you to the top of a mountain…”

fear1People don’t really consider how much power, and energy, it takes to make just a single step. Most people just think a single step is a simple thing. A throwaway thing. Yet, that single step can be the first step of a journey. It could be the last step that leads you to the top of Mt. Everest. It could be the step that leads you towards a new career; it could also be the step that saves your life. If you think a single step doesn’t matter—then you may want to reconsider that thought. A single step can be life changing. That step you took today could have led you towards the greatest adventure of your life. The step you are about to take could be the step that sets you apart from the rest. I’d like you to consider some thoughts on this subject, and perhaps take one first step into a much bigger world…

An Ant’s Life

For example, take the ant. A day’s journey is undertaken by an ant as it moves the same distance as a human would in one step. When you take a step, you are making an ant’s daily journey in mere seconds. Ants are beautiful creatures that work hard all day long. Carrying sugar, searching for food—they take hours to make the same journey you can take in one single step. What have you done with your step?

Where Does Your Step Take You?

Humans take many steps every single day. Where have your steps taken you today? Did you walk to meet a new person? Walk to start a new job? Every single step you take is important, and those steps will take you anywhere you want to go—one step at a time.

Small Steps Build into a Journey

Small steps don’t seem like a lot, but taken as part of a bigger picture they can become huge journeys. One step at a time taken every single minute of every single day would allow you to walk around the world. Have you ever realized that?

Reason!

You can walk aimlessly through life—but imagine if you had a reason to take small steps. Imagine if you had a direction. Why don’t you try it? Give yourself a goal, and take small steps until you get there. Your goal today is to get to work. The first step is to walk down those stairs.

One Step at a Time

Sometimes, we all need to realize that every journey is taken one step at a time. There’s no reason to try and fight that. One small step leads to another and another and another, and soon you will look back and find that you have taken thousands of steps. All because you kept in mind that you were taking one step at a time. It doesn’t seem so hard when you look at it this way.

Dr. Princess Fumi Hancock, DNP, MA, BSN
Your Vision Midwife, Lifestyle Entrepreneur
Radio/TV Host
https://www.periscope.tv/Princessinsub
https://katch.me/PrincessinSub/
OFFICIAL WEBSITE:
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Holding Back The Fears: Being Rational: Part 6

fear11The only thing normally holding many people back—and away from their dreams—is themselves. They suffer from terrible fears when they try to better their lives. Inner fears like frustration, failure and lack of confidence allow some to be talked out of success by their own demons. These fears control the lives of many people but can be conquered. This new series of blog articles is all about fears that will hold you back—and how to conquer them. One of these fears is so debilitating that it stops people from succeeding every single day. That fear is a fear of public speaking.

Fear of public speaking is, perhaps, the most common of all the known phobias. It’s a form of performance anxiety in which a person becomes very concerned that he or she will look visibly anxious, maybe even have a panic attack while speaking. Over time, people try to protect themselves by either avoiding public speaking or by struggling against speech anxiety. In this way, people get tricked into making the fear of public speaking more chronic and disruptive.

Some people do this with avoidance. They choose college coursework in such a way as to avoid public speaking, rather than taking the classes they actually want to take. At work, they pass up assignments, and even promotions, which would require speaking. Their fear of public speaking may even lead them to choose a career that doesn’t call for public speaking, rather than one they really want. This is often the case with people who have feared public speaking from a very young age.

Recognizing Your Phobia

Before you can even get to grips with this problem, you need to know you have a problem. Ask yourself a question. If you had to give a presentation right now—could you do it? Could you stand up and give a speech in front of a group of people? If you are cringing right now—you may well be suffering from a phobia. So now you have to delve deeper. Could you give a presentation without preparation? Could you just jump up and go for it? Could you do it if you had enough time to prepare? What conditions would you need to be able to give an effective presentation? If you are still cringing, then it’s highly likely you are suffering from a phobia of public speaking.

Overcoming Your Phobia

Get Organized

When you organize all of your thoughts and materials, it helps you to become much more relaxed and calm. When you have clear, organized thoughts, it can greatly reduce your speaking anxiety because you can better focus on the one thing at hand—giving a great speech.

Eliminate that Fear of Rejection

“What if my audience hates my speech? What if they boo me off stage?” Try to eliminate all of your fears of rejection. The audience is there to listen to you for a reason.

Watch Yourself in the Mirror

Practice your speech in front of the mirror as if you were speaking directly to someone. Try to imagine yourself in front of a crowd and pay special attention to:

Your facial expressions

Your gestures

Your body movements

How welcoming you appear

How your mouth words things

Record Yourself and Learn to Love Your Voice

Record your speech on your phone or video camera. Record yourself giving the talk from beginning to end. Then listen to it or watch it, and make notes on how you could make it better. Some people do not like listening to the sound of their voice on tape, so it is important that you get used to your own voice and speaking style.

Give Your Speech to Another Person

There are plenty of people you can practice on. Be sure to tell the person to be completely honest with you in their critique, but also be careful not to choose someone who is overly critical who will, more than likely, destroy your self-confidence. You want to choose someone you can trust.

Dr. Princess Fumi Hancock, DNP, MA, BSN
Your Vision Midwife, Lifestyle Entrepreneur
Radio/TV Host
https://www.periscope.tv/Princessinsub
https://katch.me/PrincessinSub/
OFFICIAL WEBSITE:
www.theprincessofsuburbia.com

 

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Bring The World A Bestseller: A Writing Guide: Part 4

once uponPeople are always asking about writing their own books. It seems rather simple, doesn’t it? You get your laptop, open Word and off you go. A few pages in, you start to question your story. “It’s not very good, is it?” you say. You start to wander away from the story, and suddenly you’re on Google, reading about the 2005 election. You have lost the vitality you need to keep to write a book. This is the fourth of a five-part series on publishing a book. We are going to go over a few goals, a few settings and a few ideas that will help you get that book finished. This week we will be looking at pacing yourself and your writing, which seems to be one of the biggest problems writers have.

There are many tools you can use to hasten your story. Some of them are better for micro-pacing, which is line-by-line, and some are more useful for macro-pacing, which increases the speed of your book as a whole.

Action

Action scenes are where you actually show what happens in the story. When written in short (or slightly longer) sentences, move your story along. Action scenes have no, or very few, distractions, and are short on description and transitions. These scenes have limited character thoughts and normally concentrate on survival.

Cliff-Hangers

When a scene or a chapter ends with a cliff-hanger, the pace naturally picks up because the reader will become absorbed in the book and will start to flip pages, trying to find out what happens next. Readers have a love/hate relationship with cliff-hangers, and writers would be wise to use their cliff-hangers carefully. One simple tip to create a good cliff-hanger: Have your characters talking and end that conversation suddenly with a threat. That’s a cliff-hanger, but beware! Do it too many times and readers will get sick of it. Do it just enough and readers won’t be able to stop reading your book. It’s a science.

Dialogue

Rapid-fire dialogue with little information is a good way to invigorate scenes in your book. It is rather like the volleying of a tennis ball. Short, snappy, real life conversations draw your readers into the story. You can allow your characters to confront, engage, argue or ponder in these situations.

Scene Cuts

These cuts move the story to a new location and assume the reader can still follow the story without need of explanation of why the story went from London to Manhattan in one easy page turn. The reason for doing this is to move the story forward. You can introduce new characters, new ideas and take your story to the next level. Just don’t let it get confusing.

Shorter Scenes and Chapters

These are easy to digest and interesting to write. Short scenes and chapters allow the reader to pass through quickly, while you allow the story to continue forward in an abbreviated way.

Dr. Princess Fumi Hancock, DNP, MA, BSN
Your Vision Midwife, Lifestyle Entrepreneur
Radio/TV Host
https://www.periscope.tv/Princessinsub
https://katch.me/PrincessinSub/
OFFICIAL WEBSITE:
www.theprincessofsuburbia.com

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It’s Warrior Wednesday and You Have the Power…

fear11“It’s powerful being in charge…”

People often believe that other people hold power over their lives, and this can be true. If you are in prison, in school or on a bus—someone holds power over your life and your time. But you have to admit that you are the only one who truly holds power over the direction of your life.

For example, we talked last week about people who want to choose a day to change their life. Some people have to understand, first, that there is nothing stopping them from changing their life today. The only thing they need is the power to make change, and they already have that.

Have you ever believed that you should be part of the in-crowd? Have you ever bought sneakers just because your friends have them? Are you a follower? Well, why don’t you try being a do-er? Do what you want, when you want to do it. Wrestle control of your life away from other people, and be your own in-crowd.

Actively decide that today I have the power to make a difference to myself. Keep that mantra in mind and follow it. You truly do have the power today to make a difference. All it takes is the realization that you have the power.

I decided to put together four techniques I have used to help bring the power back into my own life.

Who Has the Power?

It all starts with the realization that you have the power. You hold all the keys, and those keys can be activated just by the realization that you can do whatever you want. You are the only thing stopping yourself from becoming whatever you dream of being.

The In-Crowd Isn’t Your Life

Yes, we all like to be popular—but what your friends do doesn’t have to be the same as you do. Try being a little different, a little controversial, maintain control in your life and be the trend leader. Others may not like that you have your life under control—but you will.

Give Me the Reason

There’s a reason for everything. If you want to really be in control of your life, you have to have a reason to do so. Once you have a reason, a purpose, you will start to find that taking control is natural and that it means something. Take control for a purpose—even if that purpose is just to make you happy.

Don’t Worry… You Are the Greatest

Sometimes, all we need to hear is that we matter. When we matter, we do our best. Before you can totally take control of your life, you need to realize that you matter. You are one of the greatest humans who ever lived. Take control, get purpose and move on. You can do it!

Dr. Princess Fumi Hancock, DNP, MA, BSN
Your Vision Midwife, Lifestyle Entrepreneur
Radio/TV Host
https://www.periscope.tv/Princessinsub
https://katch.me/PrincessinSub/
OFFICIAL WEBSITE:
www.theprincessofsuburbia.com

 

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