Posted on Monday, February 15, 2016

Holding Back the Fears: Conquering Fears — Part 7

fear1 The only thing normally holding many people back—and away from their dreams—is themselves. They suffer from terrible fears when they try to better their lives. Inner fears like frustration, failure and lack of confidence allow some to be talked out of success by their own demons. These fears control the lives of many people but can be conquered.

This new series of blog articles is all about fears that will hold you back—and how to conquer them. One of those fears is so great it leads people to spend their whole life inside their homes. That fear is called Agoraphobia.

Agoraphobia is a very common condition that makes a person avoid a number of otherwise ordinary activities and places, including many that the person used to enjoy before their trouble started. This avoidance usually develops in response to panic attacks. Because a panic attack can be such an upsetting and scary experience, people are naturally motivated to do whatever they can to avoid additional attacks. Unfortunately, it’s precisely a person’s efforts to protect himself from panic which create the greater problem of Agoraphobia.

A typical example would be a person who avoids several ordinary activities and situations, such as highway driving, large supermarkets, and crowded cinemas and churches. Even a mild case can be a big burden, because people with Agoraphobia experience lots of shame, frustration, and anticipatory worry, in addition to the loss of the ability to participate in activities they used to enjoy.

Recognizing Your Phobia

Agoraphobia comes about when a person with Panic Disorder gets tricked into believing that he (or she) has a “safe zone” within which he is “protected” from the ravages of a panic attack, and beyond which he is subject to great danger. It leads him to believe that if he limits his activities, and engages in other protective behaviors, he might be able to prevent more attacks.

Overcoming Your Phobia

Avoidance Is Never the Answer

The effort to limit your activities and travel in the hopes of avoiding panic attacks rarely, if ever, results in anything positive. You might avoid panic attacks a lot of the time, but the anxiety never goes away, because you’re always worried about the “next time.” The more you avoid, the more anxious you become, and next thing you know, your life has become quite limited and filled with worry and shame. That’s the heart of the problem.

Safety Isn’t Safer

Safety behaviors foster the illusion that you are protected from danger, but they actually keep your fear alive over time. They seem to be a help, but they’re actually part of the problem, in disguise. Try not to do the safe thing. Try to break the habit and do what you want to do.

Other People

From your window, watch other people as they leave their homes and enjoy a happy, fruitful life. Wouldn’t you like to be part of that? Wouldn’t you like to sit in a café, go shopping or enjoy your day by spending it in the park? How about that sunshine? The flowers? How about those opportunities? You can expand your world—and you will want to expand your world once you discover what it has to offer. It’s a wonderful world out there—if only you’ll give it a chance.

Small Steps

Today is such a lovely day. Why don’t we spend it in the garden? Look at the back of your house. Doesn’t the garden look interesting? You can go out and spend the afternoon outside, with a coffee and a good book. You don’t need to interact with anyone. But you can take a smaller step into a much, much bigger world.

Friends

Do you have a good friend you can trust? Why don’t you invite your friend over to go to the park? If you can find someone who will take their time and go with you—why shouldn’t you just do it? Parks across the world are safe—there’s nothing to harm you. The police always patrol the park and other park dwellers will be sure to keep an eye on you. Wouldn’t you like to take a stroll in the grass and enjoy such a sunny day?

Dr. Princess Fumi Hancock, DNP, MA, BSN
Your Vision Midwife, Lifestyle Entrepreneur
Radio/TV Host
https://www.periscope.tv/Princessinsub
https://katch.me/PrincessinSub/
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Posted on Friday, February 12, 2016

Bring The World A Bestseller: A Writing Guide: Part 5

People are always asking about writing their own books. It seems rather simple, doesn’t it? You get your laptop, open Word and off you go. A few pages in, you start to question your story. “It’s not very good, is it?” you say. You start to wander away from the story, and suddenly you’re on Google, reading about the 2005 election. You have lost the vitality you need to keep to write a book. This is the fifth of a five-part series on publishing a book. We are going to go over a few goals, a few settings and a few ideas that will help you get that book finished. This week I’d like to touch upon one of the most popular types of book—the memoir.

There is nothing quite like delving into the life of someone interesting, experiencing the things that people have gone through and succeeded at. There is nothing more heartbreaking, at times, than reading the story of someone’s loss. You may want to write the story of your life, and I’ve prepared some tips to help you do just that!

Starting Point

Start at the most interesting point of your life. When was that? Had you just climbed a mountain? Held your child for the first time? What will draw readers into a story about your life?

once upon

Letters, photos, diary entries, and other mementos will bring back memories and inspire you. Did you forget something? Don’t you remember? Talk to your friends and family, and ask them to share stories and memories. The likelihood is that you will remember more than you thought you did.

Just Do It

Sometimes writers can spend too long planning their books. It’s natural—you want it to be as perfect as possible, but I wouldn’t recommend it. I would say that starting to write and keeping at it will allow your creative juices to roll. You know the story already—but the experience of continuous writing will help you creatively display the things you want to say.

Third or First Person?

Memoirs are a personal thing, and because of that most of them work best in the first person narrative. There is nothing like that fireside story manner you can get from reading a memoir. “I climbed the mountain slowly and looking down, realized how far up I was…” Gripping isn’t it?

Cut, Cut, Cut!

Most memoir writers will tell you that they went through many different versions of their book before they got the perfect one. You don’t need to change the very essence of the memoir—but sometimes you do need to cut some of the things that bog down readers. Is that conversation too long? Did I dwell too long on that incident? Do I really need to tell people about that? And so on.

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Posted on Wednesday, February 10, 2016

It’s Warrior Wednesday And I’m Asking If You Watch Your Steps

“Just a few steps can take you to the top of a mountain…”

fear1 People don’t really consider how much power, and energy, it takes to make just a single step. Most people just think a single step is a simple thing. A throwaway thing. Yet, that single step can be the first step of a journey. It could be the last step that leads you to the top of Mt. Everest. It could be the step that leads you towards a new career; it could also be the step that saves your life. If you think a single step doesn’t matter—then you may want to reconsider that thought. A single step can be life changing. That step you took today could have led you towards the greatest adventure of your life. The step you are about to take could be the step that sets you apart from the rest. I’d like you to consider some thoughts on this subject, and perhaps take one first step into a much bigger world…

An Ant’s Life

For example, take the ant. A day’s journey is undertaken by an ant as it moves the same distance as a human would in one step. When you take a step, you are making an ant’s daily journey in mere seconds. Ants are beautiful creatures that work hard all day long. Carrying sugar, searching for food—they take hours to make the same journey you can take in one single step. What have you done with your step?

Where Does Your Step Take You?

Humans take many steps every single day. Where have your steps taken you today? Did you walk to meet a new person? Walk to start a new job? Every single step you take is important, and those steps will take you anywhere you want to go—one step at a time.

Small Steps Build into a Journey

Small steps don’t seem like a lot, but taken as part of a bigger picture they can become huge journeys. One step at a time taken every single minute of every single day would allow you to walk around the world. Have you ever realized that?

Reason!

You can walk aimlessly through life—but imagine if you had a reason to take small steps. Imagine if you had a direction. Why don’t you try it? Give yourself a goal, and take small steps until you get there. Your goal today is to get to work. The first step is to walk down those stairs.

One Step at a Time

Sometimes, we all need to realize that every journey is taken one step at a time. There’s no reason to try and fight that. One small step leads to another and another and another, and soon you will look back and find that you have taken thousands of steps. All because you kept in mind that you were taking one step at a time. It doesn’t seem so hard when you look at it this way.

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Posted on Monday, February 8, 2016

Holding Back The Fears: Being Rational: Part 6

fear11 The only thing normally holding many people back—and away from their dreams—is themselves. They suffer from terrible fears when they try to better their lives. Inner fears like frustration, failure and lack of confidence allow some to be talked out of success by their own demons. These fears control the lives of many people but can be conquered. This new series of blog articles is all about fears that will hold you back—and how to conquer them. One of these fears is so debilitating that it stops people from succeeding every single day. That fear is a fear of public speaking.

Fear of public speaking is, perhaps, the most common of all the known phobias. It’s a form of performance anxiety in which a person becomes very concerned that he or she will look visibly anxious, maybe even have a panic attack while speaking. Over time, people try to protect themselves by either avoiding public speaking or by struggling against speech anxiety. In this way, people get tricked into making the fear of public speaking more chronic and disruptive.

Some people do this with avoidance. They choose college coursework in such a way as to avoid public speaking, rather than taking the classes they actually want to take. At work, they pass up assignments, and even promotions, which would require speaking. Their fear of public speaking may even lead them to choose a career that doesn’t call for public speaking, rather than one they really want. This is often the case with people who have feared public speaking from a very young age.

Recognizing Your Phobia

Before you can even get to grips with this problem, you need to know you have a problem. Ask yourself a question. If you had to give a presentation right now—could you do it? Could you stand up and give a speech in front of a group of people? If you are cringing right now—you may well be suffering from a phobia. So now you have to delve deeper. Could you give a presentation without preparation? Could you just jump up and go for it? Could you do it if you had enough time to prepare? What conditions would you need to be able to give an effective presentation? If you are still cringing, then it’s highly likely you are suffering from a phobia of public speaking.

Overcoming Your Phobia

Get Organized

When you organize all of your thoughts and materials, it helps you to become much more relaxed and calm. When you have clear, organized thoughts, it can greatly reduce your speaking anxiety because you can better focus on the one thing at hand—giving a great speech.

Eliminate that Fear of Rejection

“What if my audience hates my speech? What if they boo me off stage?” Try to eliminate all of your fears of rejection. The audience is there to listen to you for a reason.

Watch Yourself in the Mirror

Practice your speech in front of the mirror as if you were speaking directly to someone. Try to imagine yourself in front of a crowd and pay special attention to:

Your facial expressions

Your gestures

Your body movements

How welcoming you appear

How your mouth words things

Record Yourself and Learn to Love Your Voice

Record your speech on your phone or video camera. Record yourself giving the talk from beginning to end. Then listen to it or watch it, and make notes on how you could make it better. Some people do not like listening to the sound of their voice on tape, so it is important that you get used to your own voice and speaking style.

Give Your Speech to Another Person

There are plenty of people you can practice on. Be sure to tell the person to be completely honest with you in their critique, but also be careful not to choose someone who is overly critical who will, more than likely, destroy your self-confidence. You want to choose someone you can trust.

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Posted on Friday, February 5, 2016

Bring The World A Bestseller: A Writing Guide: Part 4

once upon People are always asking about writing their own books. It seems rather simple, doesn’t it? You get your laptop, open Word and off you go. A few pages in, you start to question your story. “It’s not very good, is it?” you say. You start to wander away from the story, and suddenly you’re on Google, reading about the 2005 election. You have lost the vitality you need to keep to write a book. This is the fourth of a five-part series on publishing a book. We are going to go over a few goals, a few settings and a few ideas that will help you get that book finished. This week we will be looking at pacing yourself and your writing, which seems to be one of the biggest problems writers have.

There are many tools you can use to hasten your story. Some of them are better for micro-pacing, which is line-by-line, and some are more useful for macro-pacing, which increases the speed of your book as a whole.

Action

Action scenes are where you actually show what happens in the story. When written in short (or slightly longer) sentences, move your story along. Action scenes have no, or very few, distractions, and are short on description and transitions. These scenes have limited character thoughts and normally concentrate on survival.

Cliff-Hangers

When a scene or a chapter ends with a cliff-hanger, the pace naturally picks up because the reader will become absorbed in the book and will start to flip pages, trying to find out what happens next. Readers have a love/hate relationship with cliff-hangers, and writers would be wise to use their cliff-hangers carefully. One simple tip to create a good cliff-hanger: Have your characters talking and end that conversation suddenly with a threat. That’s a cliff-hanger, but beware! Do it too many times and readers will get sick of it. Do it just enough and readers won’t be able to stop reading your book. It’s a science.

Dialogue

Rapid-fire dialogue with little information is a good way to invigorate scenes in your book. It is rather like the volleying of a tennis ball. Short, snappy, real life conversations draw your readers into the story. You can allow your characters to confront, engage, argue or ponder in these situations.

Scene Cuts

These cuts move the story to a new location and assume the reader can still follow the story without need of explanation of why the story went from London to Manhattan in one easy page turn. The reason for doing this is to move the story forward. You can introduce new characters, new ideas and take your story to the next level. Just don’t let it get confusing.

Shorter Scenes and Chapters

These are easy to digest and interesting to write. Short scenes and chapters allow the reader to pass through quickly, while you allow the story to continue forward in an abbreviated way.

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Posted on Wednesday, February 3, 2016

It’s Warrior Wednesday and You Have the Power…

“It’s powerful being in charge…”

People often believe that other people hold power over their lives, and this can be true. If you are in prison, in school or on a bus—someone holds power over your life and your time. But you have to admit that you are the only one who truly holds power over the direction of your life.

For example, we talked last week about people who want to choose a day to change their life. Some people have to understand, first, that there is nothing stopping them from changing their life today. The only thing they need is the power to make change, and they already have that.

Have you ever believed that you should be part of the in-crowd? Have you ever bought sneakers just because your friends have them? Are you a follower? Well, why don’t you try being a do-er? Do what you want, when you want to do it. Wrestle control of your life away from other people, and be your own in-crowd.

Actively decide that today I have the power to make a difference to myself. Keep that mantra in mind and follow it. You truly do have the power today to make a difference. All it takes is the realization that you have the power.

I decided to put together four techniques I have used to help bring the power back into my own life.

Who Has the Power?

It all starts with the realization that you have the power. You hold all the keys, and those keys can be activated just by the realization that you can do whatever you want. You are the only thing stopping yourself from becoming whatever you dream of being.

The In-Crowd Isn’t Your Life

Yes, we all like to be popular—but what your friends do doesn’t have to be the same as you do. Try being a little different, a little controversial, maintain control in your life and be the trend leader. Others may not like that you have your life under control—but you will.

Give Me the Reason

There’s a reason for everything. If you want to really be in control of your life, you have to have a reason to do so. Once you have a reason, a purpose, you will start to find that taking control is natural and that it means something. Take control for a purpose—even if that purpose is just to make you happy.

Don’t Worry… You Are the Greatest

Sometimes, all we need to hear is that we matter. When we matter, we do our best. Before you can totally take control of your life, you need to realize that you matter. You are one of the greatest humans who ever lived. Take control, get purpose and move on. You can do it!

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Posted on Monday, February 1, 2016

Holding Back The Fears: Being Rational: Part 5

This new series of blog articles is all about fears that will hold you back—and how to conquer them. This week we will be looking at irrational fears.

Rationality and irrationality are two sides of the same coin. On one hand, you are able to see things for what they truly are. For those who are hit with irrational thoughts, the world becomes a dangerous place. Let’s investigate this further.

An irrational fear is an intense fear of something that, in reality, poses little or no actual danger. Common fears include closed-in places, heights, highway driving, flying insects, snakes, and needles. However, we can develop phobias of virtually anything. Most phobias develop in childhood, but they can also develop in adults.

If you have a fear, you probably realize that it’s probably unreasonable, yet you still can’t control your feelings. Just thinking about the feared object or situation may make you anxious. And when you’re actually exposed to the thing you fear, the terror is automatic and overwhelming.

The experience is so nerve-wracking that you may go to great lengths to avoid it—inconveniencing yourself or even changing your lifestyle. If you have claustrophobia, for example, you might turn down a lucrative job offer if you have to ride the elevator to get to the office. If you have a fear of heights, you might drive an extra thirty miles to avoid that big bridge.

Understanding your fear is the first step to overcoming it. It may help you to know that that irrational fears are highly treatable. You can overcome your anxiety and fear, no matter how out of control it feels.

Putting Your Irrational Fear to Bed…

Root Cause

When you become fixated on something that causes you fear, it’s helpful to face that fear by acknowledging it and desensitizing yourself to it. For example, there was a well-known singer who overcame a fear of elevators by spending his day going up and down in the elevator. If you are scared of snakes, insects or other such things, you may want to learn more about them online, or perhaps venture out to see them? By acknowledging them, you will realize that they pose you no harm.

Breathing

Deep breathing has been proven to calm your body by burning off the adrenaline that’s been released in panic. Slow down, clear your mind and count to ten. Focus on thinking clearly, factually, and do not react emotionally.

Objective Thinking

Yes, you may not like it. You may never love it. But can you accept it? Is your fear of something so bad that you would want to see it removed from the Earth? If yes… you may have to live your life around it. If no, you may find yourself slowly accepting whatever it is that scares you so badly.
Dr. Princess Fumi Hancock, DNP, MA, BSN
Your Vision Midwife, Lifestyle Entrepreneur
Radio/TV Host
https://www.periscope.tv/Princessinsub
https://katch.me/PrincessinSub/
OFFICIAL WEBSITE:
www.theprincessofsuburbia.com

YOUR VISION TORCH Series
Achieve Your Dreams, Ignite Your Vision, & Re-engineer Your Life Purpose

AVAILABLE:

More blog articles at www.yourinneryou.com
Dear Princess Column at: www.sentimentalnursewriter.com

Posted on Friday, January 29, 2016

Bring The World A Bestseller: A Writing Guide: Part 3

People are always asking about writing their own books. It seems rather simple, doesn’t it? You get your laptop, open Word and off you go. A few pages in, you start to question your story. “It’s not very good, is it?” you say. You start to wander away from the story, and suddenly you’re on Google, reading about the 2005 election. You have lost the vitality you need to keep to write a book. This is the first of a five-part series on publishing a book. We are going to go over a few goals, a few settings and a few ideas that will help you get that book finished. This week, we will be looking at some ways to help you research your book.

More Research. Better Research

It has been said that too much knowledge is never a bad thing. I think that applies to writing books, too. You will be read by readers from all over the world and from all walks of life. You just never know what little added bit of information will turn a reader onto your book. They may have hated everything about it—until they read your beautifully put together, realistic fishing scene.

No Loan Needed

Your book is about Tokyo? You can’t afford to get there? Try finding someone who lives there and ask them all the questions you can think of. You learn more from asking questions than you do from visiting. If your subject is historical—read the books, visit the museums, check out the Internet. You don’t need to go back to ancient Rome to write about it.

The Web Has It All

The Internet can be the greatest resource a writer could ever ask for. You may have to know what to look for—but once you tap into what the Internet has to offer, you may never need a book again. How do you treat a gunshot wound? Look on Google. How can a computer break down? Look on Google. What happened on the 12 July, 1975… Google it!

Don’t Overdo It

Have you ever read a book and found yourself reading tedious descriptions? I’m sure you have. That’s a case of a writer forcing his knowledge on you. Knowing information and knowing how much to share are two different things. You don’t need to tell the reader constantly that the U.S.A. is the United States of America. See?

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Posted on Wednesday, January 27, 2016

It’s Warrior Wednesday and This Is YOUR Day…

“When you wake up, you know there’s something to be done…”

fear1 Which day should I choose to change my life? I was asked that once. Everyone wants to change something. The clothes they wear, perhaps the friends they choose to have, and don’t forget that we are changing inside our bodies on a daily basis. Is there really a better time to change than right now?

I don’t think so.

The changes we make now will allow us to live differently in the coming days. Why wait when you can have everything you want right now?

Yet, do we all know what we want? The best way to really find out what we need is to sit down and think about what we can accomplish. Then you have to ask yourself—what should I accomplish first? What can I do today?

I decided to put together four techniques I have used to help change my life on a day-to-day basis.

What Can I Change Today?

Can you start a chain reaction by taking that call with your boss today? How about decluttering that closet? What about taking that first step outside? Is there something you can do today that will impact your tomorrow for the better?

Help Your Neighbor

Your changes don’t have to help yourself. You can make a difference today by changing the life of someone else. How can you be of service today? Does that person need some help with their yard? A friend to talk to? Change your life by changing the life of someone else, on a daily basis.

Give Me an M… Motivation

Change of any kind takes motivation. Try writing down the things you can do NOW to change your life. What can you do? Wake up earlier and start the day with a smile? How about tackling that awful job first? Motivate yourself with a list you can tick off and put paid to, and then look at all the changes you made.

Don’t Worry… Be Happy

We’d all like to change everything that needs changing within minutes. Wouldn’t a magic wand be nice? Well, think about it—it wouldn’t actually be that great. You’d be bored within moments with nothing to aim for, no achievements to, well, achieve… Take your life in your hands, and change it on a daily basis. Soon, you will be able to look back at all the good things you’ve done and all the great achievements you’ve made. But be sure to make these changes at your own pace.

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Posted on Monday, January 25, 2016

Holding Back The Fears: Conquering Fears: Part 4

There’s always something out there trying to scare us. If you listen without really thinking about what you’re being told, it’s quite easy to become scared. For some, this means hiding away from the world. For others, daily life becomes a struggle.

Panic!

The negative results of panic can be seen every single day. People get upset, overreact and make more out of a problem (or a perceived problem) than there really is. Frightening yourself beyond the real need to deal with a problem puts your body into a fight-or-flight situation.

Emotional Panic

This can create a shutdown of feelings; it can leave you in a constant state of shock. You don’t think clearly; you don’t make good decisions. You can’t remember things very well. You cannot accurately assess a situation.

Overcoming Panic… You CAN do it!

The Signs of Panic

You feel panic coming on… A racing heartbeat, a flushing feeling in your face, mental confusion, shouting, saying unreasonable things, or just saying whatever comes out of your mouth without thinking about what you are saying. You are more than likely in a state of panic.

Deep Breathing

Responsibility

Are in you in immediate danger? If you’re not, then whatever has set you into a panic is probably not as urgent as you think. What scares you? Discover what it is and jot it down. Once you know what sets off your panic—you can start to combat it and think clearly.

Check the Facts

Yes, you may be worried about what you saw on the news. Killer bees, bombs, natural disasters, whatever. But is it really a problem? Is it really an epidemic? If you are in a panic over the news, you should consider the source. Just because the National Enquirer says that Bill Clinton has five days to live, it may not be true at all. In real terms, you should look at the facts, too. Is your boss going to fire you? Probably not—but if he does, he may have lost a very talented human being.

YOUR VISION TORCH Series
Achieve Your Dreams, Ignite Your Vision, & Re-engineer Your Life Purpose

AVAILABLE:

More blog articles at www.yourinneryou.com
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Success Blueprint for Your Inner You

Be the Hero in Your Own Success Rescue(TM)

Holding Back the Fears: Conquering Fears — Part 7

Bring The World A Bestseller: A Writing Guide: Part 5

It’s Warrior Wednesday And I’m Asking If You Watch Your Steps

Holding Back The Fears: Being Rational: Part 6

Bring The World A Bestseller: A Writing Guide: Part 4

It’s Warrior Wednesday and You Have the Power…

Holding Back The Fears: Being Rational: Part 5

Bring The World A Bestseller: A Writing Guide: Part 3

It’s Warrior Wednesday and This Is YOUR Day…

Holding Back The Fears: Conquering Fears: Part 4