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I Speak…

coachOne of the biggest problems with writing a speech is knowing where to begin. There are many people out there who would happily write your speech for you—but for those public speakers who really want to hit their audience and hold their sway, there has to be a level of self-knowledge. You need to know how to open your speech—how will your audience react to what you have to say? How does your personality grab your audience? Are you patriotic? Are you revolutionary? What does the world think about you and what you have to say? Take a look at these speech openers, and see if you can see yourself starting with some of these…

Thank You Very Much

Some of the best speakers start by thanking the audience for coming and thanking the organization for inviting you to speak. Refer to the person who introduced you or to one or more of the senior people in the organization in the audience. This compliments them, makes the feel proud and happy about your presence, and connects you into the audience like an electrical plug in a socket. As someone once told me—manners are more important in business than degrees.

Think Positive, Start Positive, Be Positive

You can begin by telling the audience members how much they will like and enjoy what you have to say. Explain how positive you feel the audience is towards you, and that you are excited to get to know the people in front of you. Keep a level of positivity and people will engage with you.

Compliment the Audience

You can begin by complimenting the audience members sincerely and with great respect. Smile as if you are really glad to see them, as if they are all old friends of yours that you have not seen for quite a while. How about telling them that it is a great honor for you to be here, that they are some of the most important people in this business or industry, and that you are looking forward to sharing some key ideas with them.

The Audacity of Hope

Remember, the ultimate purpose of speaking is to inspire people to do things that they would not have done in the absence of your comments. Everything you say should relate to the actions you want people to take and the reasons that they should take those actions.

Question Time…

You can open by making a positive statement and then asking a question requiring a show of hands. How about starting with one crucial question that everyone in the room will have an answer to: “Who here wants to be a billionaire?”

Refer to a Recent Conversation

Some of the greatest public speakers start by telling a story. Some of the most effective stories are recent conversations. “I was talking to Bill the other day—we were discussing this event, and he told me that the people in Louisiana are some of the best people you could ever hope to meet. I have been here for a few hours, my first visit to the great state of Louisiana, and I have to say that Bill was completely correct. This is the best event in the country, bar none.” See? Complimenting, telling a story and engaging will have them listening from the get-go.

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I Write…

once uponThis blog article is all about self-publishing your book through Amazon KDP. There are many different opinions about the world of Amazon. Some say that it’s the greatest platform for writers—other say it’s a platform you should strive to be on. In this article, I want to look at four myths about self-publishing that you may have heard of, and the truth about those myths…

“You don’t need a physical version of your book…”

CreateSpace is an amazing company that can print your book on demand. You can have a physical copy of your book. Why would you actually stop yourself from having a physical copy of your book? Why would you deny yourself a product that many people will buy? Did you know that the majority of non-fiction books are sold as hard copies? Don’t discount the power of the printed word.

“It’s easy to get your self-published book into book stores…”

Most authors can tell you that getting placement for your book in a bookstore is hard. Bookstores only want to give space to proven authors. There’s a self-publishing company called Lighting Source, which has a relationship with Ingram books. Ingram distributes books to all the major bookstores. Ingram can get your book in a bookstore’s catalog but not necessarily in the actual bookstore. Don’t be sold on expensive programs that promise to get you into stores. Research thoroughly and do it yourself.

“You don’t have to market your book because Amazon is too big to fail…”

It doesn’t matter how good your book is, your book will sell or languish depending on the marketing that is done. Remember the hundreds of thousands of books that are published every year? Many good books go unnoticed. Writing a good book is just the start. Marketing gets the book noticed and persuades people to buy it. Don’t think for a second that Amazon will do the marketing for you—they won’t.

“One book will make you rich…”

Successful self-published authors have multiple books. It’s possible for one book to take off, but that’s the rare exception, not the rule. Multiple books, especially series, give all of your books a better chance to sell. If someone buys one of your books and likes it, they’re likely to buy your other books. Don’t be caught in the trap of believing that one book will make you fantastically successful.

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I Teach…

once uponBeing a life coach takes more than just learning from a book. There are skills you will need that you already have, yet you may not even know that you have them. Coaching is a little bit like having a good conversation with a friend. A great coach can have a natural rapport with anyone simply by taking advantage of a few of the skills they already have. Let’s look at those skills…

Be Curious About What Your Client Has to Say

When we speak about listening with curiosity, we’re talking about showing genuine interest in what others are saying to you. All too often we listen without really showing interest. We are impatient and truly show a lack of attentiveness, which in turn hampers constructive conversation. We are too focused on our own agenda. Be genuinely curious. Don’t do all the talking, and keep interruptions to a minimum.  Pace the conversation, and don’t be afraid to keep it focused and on target. Be involved and your client will be involved, too.

Take It All In

Sometimes you can project all the necessary nonverbal cues to give the other person a sense that you’re listening with curiosity, but you could still be failing to take in any information. While projecting a sense of curiosity, don’t forget to absorb and register what is actually being said. You need to hear the words, read the gestures, and take in the thoughts, ideas, and emotions of the other party. To take in what you hear, you need to pace the conversation and put yourself in the shoes of the other party. If you aren’t listening—you aren’t coaching.

Reflection Is Key

Reflecting back with accuracy shows the person you’re really listening and confirms that you have digested the right information. It also allows the person to hear back what he or she has said and to check within him or herself: Is it exactly what he or she meant to say? Try to take notes, and refer back to them often. Don’t be afraid to ask your client to delve deeper into what they’ve said. Try to get to the root of their issues.

Ask Questions…

Asking questions extends the conversation and allows for a more productive dialogue. Ask open-ended questions that allow more exploration to take place. By asking open ended questions, you give your protégés an opportunity to find answers within themselves. When someone actually discovers the answers for themselves, it empowers them. When you question for exploration, you reinforce in their minds that you believe in them, and that their opinions, knowledge, and experience are worthwhile. You build their confidence. A true coach will always look to build the confidence of their client.

Don’t Be Afraid to Give Back

Feedback is often thought of as being inherently critical, but that need not be the case. Successful coaches are careful and discriminating about how they employ feedback, knowing that poor or incomplete feedback could stifle their protégés or even cause feelings of inadequacy in them. The successful coach avoids the common mistake of using feedback as a vehicle for asserting expertise. Unclear, arrogant, or dismissive feedback can drive your protégés into defensiveness and destroy the trust so critical to your relationship. When providing feedback, coaches should strive to make it clear, make it relevant, make it helpful, and make it positive. Try to always end on a positive note.

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I Speak…

fear1We’ve looked at some of the major ways to learn how to better your public speaking, but this week we are going to look at a few things it would be unwise to do. Many public speakers fall into these traps—but with a little bit of help, you will avoid them altogether and forge a successful and powerful speaking personality.

Don’t Forget to Tailor Your Speech to Your Audience

Ask yourself: “Who is my audience? What are their issues? How does my message actually help them? How much do they know about my topic? What will I ask them to do in response to my message?” All the best practices in public speaking depend upon this first tenet: Know Your Audience, and know them well enough to realize that they want what they want.

Those Wanderin’ Eyes

From beginners to veterans, the majority of speakers fail to maintain meaningful, sustained eye contact with their listeners. Lack of eye contact implies a list of offenses: insincerity, disinterest, detachment, insecurity, shiftiness, and even arrogance. To visually connect with your audience, try to maintain eye contact for at least two to three seconds per person, or long enough to complete a full phrase or sentence. Effective eye communication is the most important nonverbal skill in a speaker’s toolbox.

Yes, Your Mannerisms Can Be Annoying

There are, at least, twenty common tics to tackle, including: clenching or wringing your hands, pacing back and forth, keeping your hands in pockets, jingling change or keys, twisting your ring, gripping the lectern, licking your lips, adjusting your hair or clothing, fidgeting with a pen, bobbing your head, placing your arms behind your back, and touching your face. Record yourself speaking and watch the playback. Practice often to increase your comfort level and reduce anxiety.

You Didn’t Have Time to Rehearse?

Most great speakers prepare. To optimize their perception of you and get the outcome you want, perform the entire presentation aloud at least once, and the opening and closing at least three times. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that you know what you are doing and saying, without having to put the work into presentation.

“That Speaker Lacked Energy…”

Enthusiasm is an audience’s most desired trait in a presenter. Conversely, a boring delivery — evidenced by a low monotone voice, dull facial expressions, and overall lethargy — is their most disliked trait. Ever see the movie “Ferris Bueller?” Think about that droning teacher and avoid channeling him at all costs. Increase your energy level. Speak expressively, smile naturally when you feel a smile is warranted, move naturally, and enjoy the moment. Just be the speaker everyone knows you can be.

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I Write…

once uponLast week, we talked about the positives behind self-publishing. This week, I’d like for us to talk about whether you are actually ready to publish. Knowing if you are ready to publish is half the battle—so take a look a look at this list and see if there are any reasons here for you not to publish your book. You should be absolutely certain you are ready to publish before you bite the bullet…

Writing for the Wrong Reason—Do Not Fall Into This Trap

The most common wrong reason to write a book is to make a lot of money. In many cases, you will be letting yourself in for a huge disappointment. You should try to write a book for good reasons—reasons like having something to say, something you want to express or something you’d like to share.

You Didn’t Use an Editor

Many writers believe that they’ve caught every mistake in their book. They’re wrong. Time after time, a fresh set of eyes has found typos in a book once thought clean. Don’t fall into the trap of trusting your eyes—find another set of professional eyes before you publish.

Design Your Own Cover?

The cover is one of the most important marketing pieces for your book, so hiring a great designer is money well invested. The beauty pageant that is Amazon web pages displays fifteen to twenty covers at a time. With a graphic the size of a postage stamp, you need to entice people to click. Are you ready for the competition?

Too Few Plans?

There are at least three plans to getting your book published: Plan A is to find a traditional publisher; Plan B is to self-publish; and Plan C is to implement Plan B in order to attract a traditional publisher and reinstate Plan A. There is no right and wrong. There is only what works for you and what doesn’t, so be flexible. Don’t undersell yourself and go to work without a plan.

Did You Build Your Marketing Platform?

Self-publishing is not a serial process where you can write a book and then worry about marketing it later. You need to start building a marketing platform as soon as you start writing because the process takes a year. Get in on your marketing early!

Did You Use Microsoft Word?

There are cheaper and more elegant word processors, but nothing has the paragraph styles capability of Word nor the universal acceptance from the reviewers. If you’re writing a book—write it in Word.

Don’t Just Sell the E-Book

People live believing that E-books are taking over the book market, and that dream is partially true—but you should never discount the paper book. Yes, it’s going to sell slower, but it will be picked up by certain readers; and if you’ve written a non-fiction book, the paperback will, more than likely, outsell the E-book version.

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I Speak…

coachAre you new to public speaking? For those of you who haven’t done it before, it can be absolutely terrifying. How do you start a career in public speaking? It’s a common question. The answer is that you have to be ready to actually get up on the stage and speak publicly. If you haven’t done that previously, you should start preparing. I have put together some tips below that will help you become a solid public speaker… the time to start your new career is now!

Just Do It!

What’s the number one most important tip for becoming an amazing public speaker? You simply need to act against feeling nervous, afraid or as though you have no confidence. Just get out there and do it. The quicker you learn to control your emotions, you can get into a state of flow and connection with your audience. You may make mistakes at first, but those are incredibly valuable learning experiences that are only going to make you stronger and more confident.

Sell Your Strengths

Audiences give more attention to a speaker who’s genuinely engaged and personally invested in their dialog and their personal presentation; it’s incredibly energizing and inspiring!

By playing to your strengths, you need to have a heart-to-heart with yourself about your speaking and your presenting styles. In other words, if you’re definitely not the standup comedian type, you might want to find other ways to add humor than reeling off bad one liners.

It’s also important to share what you’re genuinely passionate about because passion is contagious. Always sell your passion.

Practice Makes Perfect

Can you imagine being invited to give a major talk, pitch or business presentation at a major tradeshow or conference? As an absolute beginner, stepping out in front of a huge audience of people you don’t know can be overwhelming. Why don’t you start by giving short practice presentations in front of coworkers, friends, and even family members? It’s important you start with people you feel comfortable with.

If you have someone in your network who’s a great public speaker, invite them to your practice presentations and ask for tips, suggestions and corrective feedback. Another great tip is to practice in front of a mirror.

You will be very surprised at how quickly your public speaking skills and emotional comfort levels grow within just a few hours of dedicated practice.

Record Your Speech

Take the time to record your voice and your body language using whatever tools you have. Audio and video quality doesn’t matter as much at this point. Using your smart phone with a simple tripod can really do the trick. From there, you can take notes on how you look and sound and make needed changes and improvements. You can also gauge your own reaction to your speech. How does it sound? Could it be improved?

Knowledge & Body Language

When it comes to becoming a truly amazing public speaker, knowledge really is power. Put time aside each day to read, watch, listen to and learn from the world’s leading public speaking and body language experts. Learn from the best to become the best. You may want to read my previous blog post about public speakers for more inspiration.

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I Teach…

medThe world is full of misconceptions, and no world is more filled with these misconceptions than the world of coaches. There are many different reasons for working with a coach, and a lot of reasons for not working with a coach—but this blog article is about dispelling some of the mis-truths that have been said about coaches, and in particular “life coaches.”

Life coaches are all professionals who can help you achieve your goals…

Not all coaches are professionals who can help you reach your goals. One of the problems in the coaching industry is that anyone can call themselves a professional coach, life coach, personal coach, etc. There are programs that will offer a credential after just a few hours of training, and people read a book or watch a TV program and by the next morning they are screaming ‘I’m a coach!’ out of their bedroom window. As a result, the quality of coaches does vary dramatically. It’s like anything—there are good coaches, and bad coaches and not all of either camp are professionals. Do your research.

Personal coaches can only help you reach personal goals and professional coaches can only help you reach business goals…

A good coach is someone who is an expert at helping others create positive change in their lives. For some clients, the positive change they most want may be focused on personal goals such as relationships, time management, work-life balance, stress reduction, simplification, health, etc., but other clients may be more interested in professional or business goals such as leadership, getting a promotion, starting a business, etc. An effective coach works with the client to help them live a better, richer life – regardless of their type of goals.

Life coaches just like good friends who keep you motivated…

Let’s get something straight here. Your coach may be very friendly, but they are not your friend. Your coach wants the best from you. They will work with you to help you reach your goals and to succeed. Your coach will hold you accountable and challenge you to grow and do more than you think you can do. They may push, pull, shove, stretch and poke you in ways that may feel uncomfortable. Unlike a friendship, the coaching relationship is exclusively focused on you and your goals, not the coach, his family, his golf handicap, or what happened on vacation. Working with a coach is work.

Professional coaching is just for employees with “problems.”

Good coaching focuses on an individual’s strengths and aims to help the client achieve what they want more of in life and at work. The goal? To help the client identify and achieve their greater goals and to help them live a better life. A good coach isn’t there to just “fix” anyone, but to help the client navigate toward a more engaged and compelling future. Gone are the days when coaching was just for people with problems.

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I Write…

once uponMany people ask me about self-publishing. There are a lot of pros and cons, but the five I am going to discuss today form the backbone of the pro argument. Are these reasons enough for you to go upload your book to KDP?

Higher royalty rates

Traditional royalties were, and are, a pittance. The best royalties were 20 percent of net. With the digital revolution, Kindle, Apple and Barnes and Noble are paying 35%-70%, 55% and 65%, respectively. Just another reason not to throw away any ideas of self-publishing your book.

Bypass Tradition

The current digital revolution has changed the face of the publishing world. Before, digital authors had to go through publishers. Publishers controlled every element of the books they published. It was impossible to get books into bookstores without a publisher. However, with the digital revolution, this has all changed, and the self-published author can break tradition and appear on bookshelves alongside traditional bestsellers.

Control… You Must Have Control

Many self-published authors enjoy freedoms traditionally published authors could never have. Controlling content, the cover, the design and the marketing of their books is a huge appeal. So are you looking to control how your book is unveiled to the world—or are you just happy for someone else to do the work for you? The choice is yours.

Time

Most books get a shelf life of around 60 days in a store. One of the great advantages to self-publishing is that there is no limited timeframe for you to work within. The self-life of a digital book is… forever.

Cost controls

Even though you have to actually frontload the cost of producing your book, buying copies and promoting the book, authors who are self-published have said, in many cases, that it has been cheaper than buying copies through a traditional publisher, paying fees to be published or other expenses traditional authors incur.

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I Speak…

Anyone who is looking to make a public speech would be well advised to do their research. Since the very beginnings of humanity, there have been those people with a special talent—a talent that allows them to speak in such a way that others listen en masse. This week, I thought we would look at some of the greatest speeches of all time—and the speakers who gave them.

Blood, Sweat, and Tears –  Prime Minister Winston Churchill

In the middle of the largest war in history, for his first speech to the House of Commons as Britain’s Prime Minister on May 13, 1940, Winston Churchill proved that England was in more capable hands. He wasted no time in calling the people to arms as he echoed Theodore Roosevelt’s famous phrase of “blood, sweat, and tears.”

Duties of American Citizenship –  President Theodore Roosevelt

A speech given by Theodore Roosevelt in Buffalo, New York on January 26, 1883 discussed the theoretical reasons why every citizen must be involved in politics and the practicality of serving in that capacity. People must not excuse themselves from politics just because they are too busy and then blame the government for its ineptitude.

Inauguration Address –  President John F. Kennedy

There has never been anything more gripping than this speech delivered by one very young, ambitious and popular president called John F. Kennedy. After a lengthy campaign, and after edging Vice-President (and future President) Nixon out of the way, Kennedy became the 35th president of the United States. He embodied the fresh optimism of a nation that had just risen out of decades of war. As the citizens listened to his inaugural speech, they felt that the nation was headed towards a new frontier.

Duty, Honor, Country – General Douglas MacArthur

General Douglas MacArthur was the world famous commander of Allied Forces in the Pacific Theatre during World War II. His chivalry, his experience in the battlefield, and his selfless sacrifice were all done for the sake of “Duty, Honor, Country.” This 1962 speech was given while accepting the Sylvanus Thayer Award for outstanding service to the nation. His address was intended for the soldiers who would tread the same course he did, reminding them of their purpose in becoming soldiers.

I Have a Dream – Dr. Martin Luther King. Jr.

This was a very special speech given by Martin Luther King, Jr. on August 28, 1963 in Washington, DC. A century after the Gettysburg Address and the Emancipation Proclamation, the promise of full equality was not yet fulfilled. Black Americans still experienced racial discrimination, but amidst all this, the voice of Dr. King sent out a message of hope.

Sermon on the Mount – Jesus Christ

Given by Jesus Christ in 33 AD, people often consider the Sermon on the Mount to be one of the most influential speeches ever given. In fact, one would be hard pressed to find a more quoted, discussed, or revered piece of oration in all of history.

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I Teach…

coachOver the latest few weeks, we have talked about all the different ways a life coach can help you. This week, I’d like to talk a little about how you can help yourself and become a life coach. This two-part article will lay out a path—a path that you can use to help others.

Step 1

The first step in learning how to become a life coach is to first decide if you truly do want to become a life coach.
Coaching is a process in which a coach works with a client to enhance their quality of life or business. A life coach is not a therapist or adviser. The definition of a Life Coach is someone who works with clients to enhance their quality of life through skilled discussion, goal setting, and action planning. A great life coach is someone who can see past problems and help their client see a way forward without doing it for them.
You must be an individual who likes to help people without imposing your own opinions on individuals. The client speaks for themselves most of the time. This is because the client has the answers inside of them, and a coach simply helps highlight and bring those answers to surface. The client is the real expert in their own lives. You are just the vessel by which they learn.

Step 2

The second step of how to become a life coach is to decide which type of life coach you want to be. There are many different types of life coaching niches such as:

• Weight loss coach
• Relationship coach
• Divorce recovery coach
• Career coach
• Health and wellness coach

The best way to decide the type of life coach to become is to combine your passion with your experience. Take, for example, your own skills. If you have a passion for helping people to thrive in their career and you have experience or education in doing so, then you may consider becoming a career coach.

Step 3

The coaching industry is self-regulated. There aren’t any licensing or certification requirements at this time. In addition, you do not need a coaching degree to become a Life Coach. But you must make sure that you have the right skills and tools to practically apply yourself towards your client’s goals. If you aren’t sure that you have these skills—you may want to take part in a life coach training program and become a certified life coach.
When choosing a training program, keep in mind that there aren’t any federal or state accreditations for life coaching. Therefore, any schools offering certifications are either self-accredited or accredited through a self-accrediting organization, including the International Coach Federation.

Step 4

The forth step of how to become a life coach is to have or learn life coaching skills. Do you have these skills?

• Ability to listen
• Ability to ask powerful questions
• Ability to motivate clients and help them overcome obstacles
• Planning and goal Setting
• Designing action plans
• Neuro Linguistic Programming (how the mind works)
• Ability to understand what’s on the client’s mind
• Experience with life coaching tools
• Life coaching ethics and standards
• Ability to create an awareness in clients

And most importantly…

• Patience

Step 5

After you have received your initial life coach training, you should always be looking to continue your education and expand your skills. Take other life coach classes either online, through books, websites, seminars, workshops, etc. Grow as a life coach and remember that each new client gives you the opportunity to not only help someone fulfil their potential, but help you become a better life coach.

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