Category Archives: Your Personal Development

Your Personal Development

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I Teach…

coachFew people realize this, but you can actually be your OWN life coach. Seriously. You can absolutely coach yourself to success. If you have the time and the self-confidence to look within yourself to work out all the crinkles and issues that are holding you back, you may find this to be a very beneficial way of discovering if coaching is for you.

Dig Deep and Begin the Search…

One of the main things a life coach will help you do is find out what really drives you, and what you’re really looking to achieve. Too often, we find ourselves following the wrong path or chasing the wrong thing simply because we believe it’s what we want. The truth of the matter is that what we really want can be very different to what we think we want. Whether it’s down to external pressures or expectations, we can really find ourselves off our true track.
This can be a very enlightening search as you may find that all the goals you truly thought you were aiming for are wrong. You may find that decisions you made do not hold up when the cold light of day is shone on them. You have to dig deep to really find out your purpose—so give it a try!

Ask Yourself the Right Questions

While sitting quietly by yourself, ask yourself what you truly want to do. Forget about financial issues, problems with work, or issues with your partner, and ask yourself what you really want to do with yourself. Do you want to do jigsaws? Fight for a place in the Senate? Read books until the end of time? What do you want? When you can put your finger on what you truly want to do, you will find true satisfaction, and you will know where to put the majority of your efforts.

Examine Your Life Carefully

Some people want to get ahead in their careers, start a brand new business, lose that extra weight, become socially acceptable, or become more confident. You need to know what you are aiming for. To do this, it’s important to take a full examination to see where you currently stand.

Everything Is Listening…

Each area of your life is connected. It’s really important for you to take a good look at the overall picture and see how each part works. If you are having a poor home life, it will change the way you work. If you are under pressure to be a certain way, it will change your mood. To really become the powerhouse I know you can be—you have to have a good work-life balance. Too much negativity and you may overdose.

Be a Goal Breaker and a Trend Setter

Once you have an idea about what you want, you can see where you need to make improvements. Now, making an improvement isn’t an overnight thing, so don’t expect it to be. Also keep in mind that most people don’t change—so to make changes is to be a trend setter. Isn’t that wonderful?

At the start, you don’t have to know exactly how you’ll reach your goal, you just have to figure out how to make progress towards your goal. For example—if you want a driving lesson but haven’t even been in a car, you may want to take part in a car journey.

The Pen is Mightier… Always

Try to avoid using computer-based documents and spreadsheets for the goals you want to accomplish. Use a notepad or a diary that can be exclusively used for this process. There is far more power in the handwritten word than the typed word. You will find yourself taking goals more seriously if you write them down.

Express Yourself, Reward Yourself

Yes. We are making changes to our lives—but let’s not become overzealous. It’s important to enjoy life, and reward yourself. A life coach will provide you with encouragement when you’re able to achieve what you set out to achieve.

This positive reinforcement builds confidence and allows you to set your sights higher and higher. Don’t forget to actually pat yourself on the back. It feels good—seriously.

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I Speak…

coachOne of the biggest problems with writing a speech is knowing where to begin. There are many people out there who would happily write your speech for you—but for those public speakers who really want to hit their audience and hold their sway, there has to be a level of self-knowledge. You need to know how to open your speech—how will your audience react to what you have to say? How does your personality grab your audience? Are you patriotic? Are you revolutionary? What does the world think about you and what you have to say? Take a look at these speech openers, and see if you can see yourself starting with some of these…

Thank You Very Much

Some of the best speakers start by thanking the audience for coming and thanking the organization for inviting you to speak. Refer to the person who introduced you or to one or more of the senior people in the organization in the audience. This compliments them, makes the feel proud and happy about your presence, and connects you into the audience like an electrical plug in a socket. As someone once told me—manners are more important in business than degrees.

Think Positive, Start Positive, Be Positive

You can begin by telling the audience members how much they will like and enjoy what you have to say. Explain how positive you feel the audience is towards you, and that you are excited to get to know the people in front of you. Keep a level of positivity and people will engage with you.

Compliment the Audience

You can begin by complimenting the audience members sincerely and with great respect. Smile as if you are really glad to see them, as if they are all old friends of yours that you have not seen for quite a while. How about telling them that it is a great honor for you to be here, that they are some of the most important people in this business or industry, and that you are looking forward to sharing some key ideas with them.

The Audacity of Hope

Remember, the ultimate purpose of speaking is to inspire people to do things that they would not have done in the absence of your comments. Everything you say should relate to the actions you want people to take and the reasons that they should take those actions.

Question Time…

You can open by making a positive statement and then asking a question requiring a show of hands. How about starting with one crucial question that everyone in the room will have an answer to: “Who here wants to be a billionaire?”

Refer to a Recent Conversation

Some of the greatest public speakers start by telling a story. Some of the most effective stories are recent conversations. “I was talking to Bill the other day—we were discussing this event, and he told me that the people in Louisiana are some of the best people you could ever hope to meet. I have been here for a few hours, my first visit to the great state of Louisiana, and I have to say that Bill was completely correct. This is the best event in the country, bar none.” See? Complimenting, telling a story and engaging will have them listening from the get-go.

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I Teach…

once uponBeing a life coach takes more than just learning from a book. There are skills you will need that you already have, yet you may not even know that you have them. Coaching is a little bit like having a good conversation with a friend. A great coach can have a natural rapport with anyone simply by taking advantage of a few of the skills they already have. Let’s look at those skills…

Be Curious About What Your Client Has to Say

When we speak about listening with curiosity, we’re talking about showing genuine interest in what others are saying to you. All too often we listen without really showing interest. We are impatient and truly show a lack of attentiveness, which in turn hampers constructive conversation. We are too focused on our own agenda. Be genuinely curious. Don’t do all the talking, and keep interruptions to a minimum.  Pace the conversation, and don’t be afraid to keep it focused and on target. Be involved and your client will be involved, too.

Take It All In

Sometimes you can project all the necessary nonverbal cues to give the other person a sense that you’re listening with curiosity, but you could still be failing to take in any information. While projecting a sense of curiosity, don’t forget to absorb and register what is actually being said. You need to hear the words, read the gestures, and take in the thoughts, ideas, and emotions of the other party. To take in what you hear, you need to pace the conversation and put yourself in the shoes of the other party. If you aren’t listening—you aren’t coaching.

Reflection Is Key

Reflecting back with accuracy shows the person you’re really listening and confirms that you have digested the right information. It also allows the person to hear back what he or she has said and to check within him or herself: Is it exactly what he or she meant to say? Try to take notes, and refer back to them often. Don’t be afraid to ask your client to delve deeper into what they’ve said. Try to get to the root of their issues.

Ask Questions…

Asking questions extends the conversation and allows for a more productive dialogue. Ask open-ended questions that allow more exploration to take place. By asking open ended questions, you give your protégés an opportunity to find answers within themselves. When someone actually discovers the answers for themselves, it empowers them. When you question for exploration, you reinforce in their minds that you believe in them, and that their opinions, knowledge, and experience are worthwhile. You build their confidence. A true coach will always look to build the confidence of their client.

Don’t Be Afraid to Give Back

Feedback is often thought of as being inherently critical, but that need not be the case. Successful coaches are careful and discriminating about how they employ feedback, knowing that poor or incomplete feedback could stifle their protégés or even cause feelings of inadequacy in them. The successful coach avoids the common mistake of using feedback as a vehicle for asserting expertise. Unclear, arrogant, or dismissive feedback can drive your protégés into defensiveness and destroy the trust so critical to your relationship. When providing feedback, coaches should strive to make it clear, make it relevant, make it helpful, and make it positive. Try to always end on a positive note.

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I Speak…

fear1We’ve looked at some of the major ways to learn how to better your public speaking, but this week we are going to look at a few things it would be unwise to do. Many public speakers fall into these traps—but with a little bit of help, you will avoid them altogether and forge a successful and powerful speaking personality.

Don’t Forget to Tailor Your Speech to Your Audience

Ask yourself: “Who is my audience? What are their issues? How does my message actually help them? How much do they know about my topic? What will I ask them to do in response to my message?” All the best practices in public speaking depend upon this first tenet: Know Your Audience, and know them well enough to realize that they want what they want.

Those Wanderin’ Eyes

From beginners to veterans, the majority of speakers fail to maintain meaningful, sustained eye contact with their listeners. Lack of eye contact implies a list of offenses: insincerity, disinterest, detachment, insecurity, shiftiness, and even arrogance. To visually connect with your audience, try to maintain eye contact for at least two to three seconds per person, or long enough to complete a full phrase or sentence. Effective eye communication is the most important nonverbal skill in a speaker’s toolbox.

Yes, Your Mannerisms Can Be Annoying

There are, at least, twenty common tics to tackle, including: clenching or wringing your hands, pacing back and forth, keeping your hands in pockets, jingling change or keys, twisting your ring, gripping the lectern, licking your lips, adjusting your hair or clothing, fidgeting with a pen, bobbing your head, placing your arms behind your back, and touching your face. Record yourself speaking and watch the playback. Practice often to increase your comfort level and reduce anxiety.

You Didn’t Have Time to Rehearse?

Most great speakers prepare. To optimize their perception of you and get the outcome you want, perform the entire presentation aloud at least once, and the opening and closing at least three times. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that you know what you are doing and saying, without having to put the work into presentation.

“That Speaker Lacked Energy…”

Enthusiasm is an audience’s most desired trait in a presenter. Conversely, a boring delivery — evidenced by a low monotone voice, dull facial expressions, and overall lethargy — is their most disliked trait. Ever see the movie “Ferris Bueller?” Think about that droning teacher and avoid channeling him at all costs. Increase your energy level. Speak expressively, smile naturally when you feel a smile is warranted, move naturally, and enjoy the moment. Just be the speaker everyone knows you can be.

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I Write…

once uponLast week, we talked about the positives behind self-publishing. This week, I’d like for us to talk about whether you are actually ready to publish. Knowing if you are ready to publish is half the battle—so take a look a look at this list and see if there are any reasons here for you not to publish your book. You should be absolutely certain you are ready to publish before you bite the bullet…

Writing for the Wrong Reason—Do Not Fall Into This Trap

The most common wrong reason to write a book is to make a lot of money. In many cases, you will be letting yourself in for a huge disappointment. You should try to write a book for good reasons—reasons like having something to say, something you want to express or something you’d like to share.

You Didn’t Use an Editor

Many writers believe that they’ve caught every mistake in their book. They’re wrong. Time after time, a fresh set of eyes has found typos in a book once thought clean. Don’t fall into the trap of trusting your eyes—find another set of professional eyes before you publish.

Design Your Own Cover?

The cover is one of the most important marketing pieces for your book, so hiring a great designer is money well invested. The beauty pageant that is Amazon web pages displays fifteen to twenty covers at a time. With a graphic the size of a postage stamp, you need to entice people to click. Are you ready for the competition?

Too Few Plans?

There are at least three plans to getting your book published: Plan A is to find a traditional publisher; Plan B is to self-publish; and Plan C is to implement Plan B in order to attract a traditional publisher and reinstate Plan A. There is no right and wrong. There is only what works for you and what doesn’t, so be flexible. Don’t undersell yourself and go to work without a plan.

Did You Build Your Marketing Platform?

Self-publishing is not a serial process where you can write a book and then worry about marketing it later. You need to start building a marketing platform as soon as you start writing because the process takes a year. Get in on your marketing early!

Did You Use Microsoft Word?

There are cheaper and more elegant word processors, but nothing has the paragraph styles capability of Word nor the universal acceptance from the reviewers. If you’re writing a book—write it in Word.

Don’t Just Sell the E-Book

People live believing that E-books are taking over the book market, and that dream is partially true—but you should never discount the paper book. Yes, it’s going to sell slower, but it will be picked up by certain readers; and if you’ve written a non-fiction book, the paperback will, more than likely, outsell the E-book version.

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I Speak…

coachAre you new to public speaking? For those of you who haven’t done it before, it can be absolutely terrifying. How do you start a career in public speaking? It’s a common question. The answer is that you have to be ready to actually get up on the stage and speak publicly. If you haven’t done that previously, you should start preparing. I have put together some tips below that will help you become a solid public speaker… the time to start your new career is now!

Just Do It!

What’s the number one most important tip for becoming an amazing public speaker? You simply need to act against feeling nervous, afraid or as though you have no confidence. Just get out there and do it. The quicker you learn to control your emotions, you can get into a state of flow and connection with your audience. You may make mistakes at first, but those are incredibly valuable learning experiences that are only going to make you stronger and more confident.

Sell Your Strengths

Audiences give more attention to a speaker who’s genuinely engaged and personally invested in their dialog and their personal presentation; it’s incredibly energizing and inspiring!

By playing to your strengths, you need to have a heart-to-heart with yourself about your speaking and your presenting styles. In other words, if you’re definitely not the standup comedian type, you might want to find other ways to add humor than reeling off bad one liners.

It’s also important to share what you’re genuinely passionate about because passion is contagious. Always sell your passion.

Practice Makes Perfect

Can you imagine being invited to give a major talk, pitch or business presentation at a major tradeshow or conference? As an absolute beginner, stepping out in front of a huge audience of people you don’t know can be overwhelming. Why don’t you start by giving short practice presentations in front of coworkers, friends, and even family members? It’s important you start with people you feel comfortable with.

If you have someone in your network who’s a great public speaker, invite them to your practice presentations and ask for tips, suggestions and corrective feedback. Another great tip is to practice in front of a mirror.

You will be very surprised at how quickly your public speaking skills and emotional comfort levels grow within just a few hours of dedicated practice.

Record Your Speech

Take the time to record your voice and your body language using whatever tools you have. Audio and video quality doesn’t matter as much at this point. Using your smart phone with a simple tripod can really do the trick. From there, you can take notes on how you look and sound and make needed changes and improvements. You can also gauge your own reaction to your speech. How does it sound? Could it be improved?

Knowledge & Body Language

When it comes to becoming a truly amazing public speaker, knowledge really is power. Put time aside each day to read, watch, listen to and learn from the world’s leading public speaking and body language experts. Learn from the best to become the best. You may want to read my previous blog post about public speakers for more inspiration.

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I Teach…

medThe world is full of misconceptions, and no world is more filled with these misconceptions than the world of coaches. There are many different reasons for working with a coach, and a lot of reasons for not working with a coach—but this blog article is about dispelling some of the mis-truths that have been said about coaches, and in particular “life coaches.”

Life coaches are all professionals who can help you achieve your goals…

Not all coaches are professionals who can help you reach your goals. One of the problems in the coaching industry is that anyone can call themselves a professional coach, life coach, personal coach, etc. There are programs that will offer a credential after just a few hours of training, and people read a book or watch a TV program and by the next morning they are screaming ‘I’m a coach!’ out of their bedroom window. As a result, the quality of coaches does vary dramatically. It’s like anything—there are good coaches, and bad coaches and not all of either camp are professionals. Do your research.

Personal coaches can only help you reach personal goals and professional coaches can only help you reach business goals…

A good coach is someone who is an expert at helping others create positive change in their lives. For some clients, the positive change they most want may be focused on personal goals such as relationships, time management, work-life balance, stress reduction, simplification, health, etc., but other clients may be more interested in professional or business goals such as leadership, getting a promotion, starting a business, etc. An effective coach works with the client to help them live a better, richer life – regardless of their type of goals.

Life coaches just like good friends who keep you motivated…

Let’s get something straight here. Your coach may be very friendly, but they are not your friend. Your coach wants the best from you. They will work with you to help you reach your goals and to succeed. Your coach will hold you accountable and challenge you to grow and do more than you think you can do. They may push, pull, shove, stretch and poke you in ways that may feel uncomfortable. Unlike a friendship, the coaching relationship is exclusively focused on you and your goals, not the coach, his family, his golf handicap, or what happened on vacation. Working with a coach is work.

Professional coaching is just for employees with “problems.”

Good coaching focuses on an individual’s strengths and aims to help the client achieve what they want more of in life and at work. The goal? To help the client identify and achieve their greater goals and to help them live a better life. A good coach isn’t there to just “fix” anyone, but to help the client navigate toward a more engaged and compelling future. Gone are the days when coaching was just for people with problems.

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I Speak…

Anyone who is looking to make a public speech would be well advised to do their research. Since the very beginnings of humanity, there have been those people with a special talent—a talent that allows them to speak in such a way that others listen en masse. This week, I thought we would look at some of the greatest speeches of all time—and the speakers who gave them.

Blood, Sweat, and Tears –  Prime Minister Winston Churchill

In the middle of the largest war in history, for his first speech to the House of Commons as Britain’s Prime Minister on May 13, 1940, Winston Churchill proved that England was in more capable hands. He wasted no time in calling the people to arms as he echoed Theodore Roosevelt’s famous phrase of “blood, sweat, and tears.”

Duties of American Citizenship –  President Theodore Roosevelt

A speech given by Theodore Roosevelt in Buffalo, New York on January 26, 1883 discussed the theoretical reasons why every citizen must be involved in politics and the practicality of serving in that capacity. People must not excuse themselves from politics just because they are too busy and then blame the government for its ineptitude.

Inauguration Address –  President John F. Kennedy

There has never been anything more gripping than this speech delivered by one very young, ambitious and popular president called John F. Kennedy. After a lengthy campaign, and after edging Vice-President (and future President) Nixon out of the way, Kennedy became the 35th president of the United States. He embodied the fresh optimism of a nation that had just risen out of decades of war. As the citizens listened to his inaugural speech, they felt that the nation was headed towards a new frontier.

Duty, Honor, Country – General Douglas MacArthur

General Douglas MacArthur was the world famous commander of Allied Forces in the Pacific Theatre during World War II. His chivalry, his experience in the battlefield, and his selfless sacrifice were all done for the sake of “Duty, Honor, Country.” This 1962 speech was given while accepting the Sylvanus Thayer Award for outstanding service to the nation. His address was intended for the soldiers who would tread the same course he did, reminding them of their purpose in becoming soldiers.

I Have a Dream – Dr. Martin Luther King. Jr.

This was a very special speech given by Martin Luther King, Jr. on August 28, 1963 in Washington, DC. A century after the Gettysburg Address and the Emancipation Proclamation, the promise of full equality was not yet fulfilled. Black Americans still experienced racial discrimination, but amidst all this, the voice of Dr. King sent out a message of hope.

Sermon on the Mount – Jesus Christ

Given by Jesus Christ in 33 AD, people often consider the Sermon on the Mount to be one of the most influential speeches ever given. In fact, one would be hard pressed to find a more quoted, discussed, or revered piece of oration in all of history.

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I Speak…

sleepAre you failing to keep your audience interested when you speak? Are you scratching your head and wondering why you are losing them halfway through? These are my tips to help you keep your audience engaged, interested and interactive.

Don’t Become Boring

This is crucial. The most effective way of keeping your audience’s attention is not to go on for too long. Some of the worst experiences speakers have related derived from their staying on stage too long and having their audiences leave before the end. Don’t fall into this trap—your family might like you to talk through dinner—but paying audiences don’t.

What Is Your Audience Looking For?

You may think this is pretty obvious and that you’d never make this mistake. But I see many otherwise intelligent people talk about what they’re interested in rather than what the audience is interested in.

If you’re speaking at a conference, people come to your session because of the synopsis – that’s what they’re interested in. Don’t change it just because it suits you. Many years ago, I saw one the most successful professional speakers make this same mistake. His session was advertised as being about mail marketing. But he had become interesting in the art of telesales. When he asked how many people in the audience had any interest in the subject, about five people out of three hundred put their hands up. You’d think he’d take the hint, but he continued to keep telling us all about the fine art of telesales. Don’t make the same mistake—keep to what the audience wants.

Start with a Reason to Listen

Before each of the presentations skills courses we run, you may want to ask each attendee to fill in an online questionnaire. The most critical question is to ask them if they are interested in the subject you are going to talk about.

If your audience doesn’t have an obvious reason to be interested, tell them why they should bother listening to you talking about this subject. This can be very challenging. I’ve had email discussions with a number of readers who present on topics such as health and safety issues or environmental regulations. The audience has to be there, but they have no intrinsic interest in the topic. The solution is to tell them why they should care. And if you can’t find a reason why they should listen – don’t give the presentation.

Make Change—Make Happy

We notice change. You notice the hum of the drier when it comes on and when it goes off – but not in between. You can use this natural human propensity to retrieve your audience’s attention. Don’t be afraid to change the pace of your presentation, bring video into the conversation or stimulate your audience with a question or two.

Tell Stories

Every presentation expert extolls the power of stories, from Dr. Robert H. Schuller to Steve Harrison. There’s evidence that people are hard-wired to listen to stories. The moment a story starts, your audience will perk up. Your stories should, of course, reinforce the point you’re making. Take a look at your presentation from the point of view of stories. Are they spread throughout your presentation – or bunched together? Spread them out for best effect.

Take a Break

Build in frequent breaks, but if you see people starting to flag in their attention, suggest a quick break for 1-2 minutes where people can refresh their drinks and have a walk around. Moving is the most effective way of reviving people at risk of dozing off. Seriously. You will have them back in better shape than they were before they left.

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I Teach…

We’ve talked about how coaching can help you, but how much do you know about the different kind of coaches available? I decided to pull together a list of all the different kinds of coaches available. If you are looking for help, it helps to know the kind of help available to you! Enjoy!

Career Coaching

This coach can help you make decisions and changes regarding your career. Whether you need help reconsidering the current direction of your career or you need help making a career change, they are here to help you.

Business Coaching

This would be the right direction if you are (or are considering becoming) a business owner. Coaching will help you evaluate if business ownership is right for you, and, if so, assist you to become the most productive and successful business owner you can be, while balancing your personal and family lives at the same time.

Mentor Coaching

This will help you discover if becoming a life coach is right for you by engaging a mentor coach, one of the three ways to become a life coach.

Personal Coaching

This will help you deal with any personal goals you might want to achieve. Personal coaching will help you achieve your goals ranging from weight loss to starting afresh in a new location or transitioning from home ownership to owning and living in a condo.

Sales Coaching

Are you looking to become a great salesperson? This coach would be the one to help you become a more successful and productive sales executive. Through coaching, you will learn how to discover and work “in the zone” and how you can be most effective on your terms.

Leadership Coaching

Do you want to discover and own your personal leadership potential? You will learn to become more effective at understanding people and discovering your vision for your team or your organization. Then you will learn how to win over people to support that vision.

Management Coaching

This might be the one for you if you are transitioning into a management position or if you have been a manager for a while. Or if you feel you need to adjust your attitude or your style to be more effective and efficient.

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