Category Archives: I Speak

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I Teach…

fear11We’ve discussed how coaches can succeed, but I’d like to talk a little today about how both you and your coach can fail. There are many reasons for a failure to happen—and they often do—but why? Let’s find out…

Both Parties Have to Want It

All too often, coaches are assigned to people who don’t think they need help or don’t want help. Imagine being approached after delivering a speech and being told by that person that your boss thinks you need a coach to help with your presentations. The immediate reaction of most people would be, “I don’t need help. I’m doing just fine.”

For coaching to be truly successful, the person receiving the coaching must want it. Otherwise, it will be like dragging a horse behind you with one hand tied behind your back. Eventually, you may succeed, but not without a series of constant uphill battles.

When Your Coach Shouldn’t Be Coaching

Anyone can call himself or herself a coach. But that doesn’t mean they have the expertise or the experience to improve your condition. Before engaging the services of a coach, ask them to provide specific examples of how they have helped people with similar objectives to yours achieve their full potential. Ask questions regarding their background, and don’t be afraid to probe deeply. There are lots of coaches who have no business coaching. Make sure yours doesn’t fall into this category.

Coaching in Perpetuity

An effective coach works with their clients to set objectives and measurements of success before the engagement begins. The coach gets the job done within an agreed upon time period and disengages when their work is done. Compare this to the model where a coach comes in to work on a specific issue and never leaves the organization. A good coach knows when his work is done and encourages their clients to soar on their own.

You Have a Mentor, but Not a Coach

Lots of people think they have coaches when in fact they have mentors. Ask one hundred people to explain the difference between a coach and a mentor, and you will most likely get a hundred different answers. Most people would agree, however, that there is a difference. Before you start looking around for a coach, you must determine what specifically you are looking to gain from this type of relationship. Once you’ve answered this question, you’ll know whether your needs are best served by a mentor or a coach.

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I Speak…

coachLast week, we touched upon a problem many public speakers have. That problem is not knowing how to breathe correctly. Now, we all know that we are born with the ability to breathe—but to breathe correctly when speaking in public is another thing altogether. I thought it might be a good idea to share a few tips with you about correct breathing—tips you can take with you and help turn your speaking engagements into huge successes. This week, we will discuss relaxing before your speaking engagement, so these are tips to help you breathe to relax. Let’s try them out!

Deep Breathing Means Relaxing

For those who do not regularly practice deep breathing, they may not know all the health benefits. Learning how to properly deep breathe, and letting that breath fill your lungs and travel through your whole body, can help you to relax and take on anything that may be going on in your life. This is at the heart of your well-being and healthy living, so it is crucial to learn how to deep breathe properly and practice it regularly.

Breathing for Better Health

Deep breathing and learning to embrace this practice is part of healthy living and well-being. Learning to embrace it, and develop and practice breathing patterns that work for you, is a huge part of living the best life possible.

Exhale Longer Than Your Inhale

You should be letting the exhale take twice as long as the inhale to get the most out of it. This will take some practice. Take the time to take each breath in but then take twice as long to let it out so that you can really feel it throughout your whole body.

What Stress?

Stress can be easily melted away if you learn how to make deep breathing a part of your life. As you feel the stress coming on and starting to settle within your body, take the time to step away and take a few good deep breaths to allow the stress to simply melt away in no time.

What Pain? Is Pain Distracting You?

There is a reason why women in labor practice breathing exercises — it really does help with the worst pain!   By practicing deep breathing exercises, you can block out the pain and focus instead on this therapeutic exercise for your well-being.

Stretch for Well-Being

Yoga is a great part of a healthy lifestyle, not just for the exercise that it brings, but for the stretching and breathing that it incorporates. When you are stretching and focusing on your breathing, you are working on your overall well-being, and this can work wonders for your physical and mental well-being.

Breath Yourself to Energy

As you take in deep breaths, you will feel rejuvenated, and this brings natural energy to your body. Learning to take breath in the appropriate way and holding it will pour energy onto every bone and muscle in your body, which will bring you the natural energy you are seeking.

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I Speak…

People make mistakes in presentations every single day of the week. It’s nothing new. But why do these mistakes happen? What constitutes poor public speaking? I’ve put together a list of reasons that may tell the story of why a speech may have gone wrong, or a presentation may have fallen on deaf ears… Let’s take a look at the list, shall we?

Poor Breathing Habits Mean Poor Speaking

Have you been trained as a singer or stage actor? If you haven’t, the chances are good that you’re unaware of the best method of breathing for speech. Public speaking requires a larger reservoir of air, for instance, than breathing for life. Equally important, your exhalation needs to be more controlled so you can sustain vocalized sound to the ends of phrases, where the most important words usually reside. Diaphragmatic breathing is the key. It’s also an important method of calming your galloping heart during fear of public speaking, and of course for keeping you from audibly gasping for air when you run out of breath due to nervousness—a huge no-no when making a public presentation.

Are You Self-Conscious?

This is probably the most frequently named reason people feel performance anxiety while speaking. It’s very common for a speech coach to hear: “I’m fine talking to small groups. But when it’s a large audience, I get really anxious.” Remember that the people in a sizable audience are exactly the same ones you talk to individually, and try to concentrate on having a conversation with your listeners. You’ll be at your best in every way.

Fear of Appearing Nervous

You may fear that you’ll look fearful on stage. With that in mind, you may make a leap of poor faith and tell yourself that once the audience notices your nervousness, everyone will realize you don’t really know your topic. Of course, the two aren’t linked at all. For instance, if you see that a speaker is nervous, what do you think? It’s probably sympathy—and with that sympathy, the audience will work with you.

Are They Judging Me?

The tough love message concerning this fear of public speaking is that people really don’t care about you. They’re in the audience to get something out of your appearance. They truly would like their time to have been well spent in coming to see you. You can also console yourself with the knowledge that watching a speaker fail is embarrassing for all who see it. With that in mind, you can be assured that the audience is actually rooting for you.

Failure in the Past Means Failure in the Present

Public speaking anxiety is often a side effect of learned behavior. You failed at some point in an important or high-profile speaking situation, and the seed of failure was planted. Of course, if you know your stuff and have done your research, there’s absolutely no reason something that happened once in the past will occur ever again. Not, that is, unless you tell yourself it will and subconsciously get ready for it. Plan to succeed instead. Always look for success, rather than failure.

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I Speak…

fear1One of the toughest parts of public speaking is defining your audience and knowing how to work their interest to your favor. This blog article is all about the act of entertaining—entertaining your audience and allowing them to get the most out of your speech.

Movement… Is Your Food

When it comes to using body language, you should be asking yourself: “How can I use movement and gestures to be effective in my presentation?” Here’s an easy formula to remember, one that will help you avoid sleepy audience… Neutral, Open, Defined, and Strong. You should begin in a neutral position with hands at your sides. That keeps you open to your audience, so that influence flows freely in both directions. Gesture sparingly, using defined or “clean” hand movements, and make them strong.

Your Voice

As I mention above, your voice is physical, so it’s obviously a component of effective body language. In fact, aside from your brain, your voice is the most flexible communication instrument you own.

So you should learn how to use your voice to influence others. I don’t mean only in terms of voice and speech improvement. I’m also referring to the many ways vocal expressiveness helps you indicate meaning and intention.

Listen to speakers good and bad, and listen some more. Take a voice and diction course. Or work with a speech coach, preferably one who trained as an actor. One thing to strive for is to find your “true voice.” Literally and figuratively, it can make a radical difference in whether your real message is heard.

Using Space to Your Advantage

When you speak in public, a certain amount of space on the stage is yours by right. You should claim it! Leaders know how to project power by the way they stand and move; and of course, when you speak in public, you are a leader. Learn how to occupy space in a way that proclaims you’re comfortable in the spotlight. Nothing demonstrates confidence like a speaker who is at ease in their own skin in front of an audience.

When you speak, the stage is your world. Show your audience that they can have confidence in what you’re telling them by commanding the space around you. Don’t be overly dramatic, but don’t minimize the area through which you move.

Technology, Items and You

Stage actors know that good actors use props, and bad actors are used by their props. This isn’t just a witticism. Inexperienced performers are discombobulated by a property—a cigarette holder, a wine glass, even a sword or a gun. Solid professionals, on the other hand, understand that the prop exists to help them define their character for the audience. So they use it in a way only that character would.

When you deal with objects in a presentation, from a remote clicker to a handout to the slide screen itself, find a way to help that object further your message and its impact. The object is there for a reason. How can it help you get your message across?

Facial Expressiveness

We might call this the forgotten relative in the family. Yet the human face is vital to communication, from recognizing another person to understanding the subtle clues that underlie motive. Audience members depend upon your facial expressions to augment meaning.

If you don’t have an expressive face, work with a mirror to create a link between what you’re trying to express verbally, and how your facial expressions make your meaning clear. As part of your practice, give your entire talk without a sound coming out of your mouth even though you form all the words, letting your face do all the communicating.

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I Speak…

fear1Writing your speech is one thing—but performing it in front of others is another thing altogether. When you’ve written your speech, you may want to rehearse every inch of your performance. Just like acting, you need to think about a variety of things—the audience, your content, your emotions and the structure of your speech. This blog is all about preparation—let’s get to it!

Rehearse the Content

The first rehearsal is for the content. The first time, just try to get the words out. Don’t worry about what actors call ‘blocking’ — how you might move around. Just get the words out. Find out if anything needs to be changed or fixed. See how long it takes and how well the transitions work. Test it.

The Structure

Audiences today expect speakers to do more than simply read from a script or PowerPoint slide deck. They expect a more intimate conversation. As a result, it pays for the speaker to know the basic logical flow of the speech — not the exact words, but the main points, in order. Ideally, that’s what a speaker has in his or her head when he/she bounds up on stage and begins to chat with the audience. Get the logic of the speech down in a bulleted outline, and practice that. Rehearse just running through that outline, as if it were a very brief explanation. Then, embellish it by adding your supporting facts, your stories, and so on. Work your way up to the whole speech.

Rehearse Your Conversation

Work on finding out how you’re going to stand, to move, and where during the speech you need to do what. Don’t worry so much about getting the words perfect, but do feel the speech as a dynamic production of your body. Ideally, you’ll have someone tape you, so you can see how you’re doing.

Many people don’t think they need to walk through a speech physically — I’ll just run through the points in my head — but you do need to rehearse. I can always tell someone who hasn’t rehearsed, because sooner or later you’ll catch that deer-in-the-headlights look as the speaker thinks to himself, “I didn’t see that coming.”

Rehearse the Emotions

Emotion is captivating. We like to watch it on TV, which is why so many people watch reality TV shows even though they know they shouldn’t. We praise great actors and singers because they are practiced emoters. We even elect former actors to be president because they’re able to look authentic doing what they do best: playing a part. Don’t overlook the emotions of a presentation or speech.

Watch Yourself

Videotape yourself or use a tape recorder if you’ll be speaking on radio, in a webinar, or on a conference call. You literally need to experience yourself as others will. Watch, listen, and work on the rough spots. A painful activity? It can be. Is it helpful? Always!

Today’s digital recording equipment makes this aspect of rehearsing easier and more mobile than ever before. Make use of it!

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I Speak…

once uponSometimes, even the best public speakers or performers find themselves in the worst possible position. They find themselves failing in front of an expectant audience. This blog post is all about the disasters that can befall a public speaker. Let’s hope these things never happen to you.

Losing Your Mind

At some point in time, you’re going to have a senior moment.  It happens to everyone. As our lives move faster and faster, it’s normal that our brains will occasionally get left behind.  What do you do?  The answer is: Wait.  It will seem like forever to you, but it will be only a few seconds in real time.  So wait it out.  The words will come to you.  Your brain will catch up with your mouth.  Just give it time. Sometimes you just need to be calm, kick back, and smile.

Unhappily Being Heckled

This happens more often than you might think. Some people really enjoy making themselves heard. The natural instinct is to avoid a heckler because the whole experience is unpleasant.  But fight the instinct on this one and do the counter-intuitive thing—stand up to the heckler.

Bad, Bad Technology

If you use technology, it will crash.  Seriously. At some point, it will crash. The answer is to have a version of your presentation ready to go – always – that doesn’t depend on technology.  Be prepared to tell good stories without those colorful slides.  Have a Plan B!

Greedy Speakers

Just as you have a non-tech version of your talk ready to go, you should also have a short version ready to go for the inevitable time when the speaker before you simply won’t stop talking.  That allows you to look like a hero for getting the agenda back on track.  In extraordinary circumstances, you can take your time out of the next part of the agenda, but get the conference organizer both to agree to it and announce it.  Otherwise, it’s your fault, and everyone will hate you for keeping them from their lunch. Don’t continue the greedy behavior of the speaker in front of you—change direction and win.

Audience Expectations

Sometimes, you will find yourself in front of an audience smaller than you expected. Be warm and thank them all for coming—then dive in with all your might. If you get a bigger crowd than you expected, try to get people seated as comfortably as possible and then keep eye contact with as many people as you can. If you are faced with a lot of noise—don’t worry—wait until they quiet down and start with a smile.

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I Speak…

fearsThe biggest factor holding many would-be public speakers back is fear. Fear is a deciding factor—and this article is all about taming that fear to your advantage. While some readers are conquered by their fear and make grievous mistakes, others can channel their fear and become outstanding public speakers. Here’s how…

Embrace Your Nervousness

All you have to do is admit that you are a little bit nervous speaking to your audience. When you do this, the audience will be more forgiving if your nervousness shows up later on. More importantly, you will feel more relaxed now that they are not expecting a world-class presentation. Imagine their surprise when you give them the best presentation ever despite your nervousness. One of the best ways to allow your audience in on your fear is to joke about it. Try starting your speech with a joke about how nervous you are. It may just be the deciding factor.

Make Mistakes Intentionally

This is another tip I would encourage. The idea is to gain control of your audience. If you can make them laugh and be more interactive with you, your presentation will have that casual feel to it, which will make it memorable. Ultimately, you will find it easier to do. Try it to see if it works for you.

Redefine Your Audience

Redefining your audience generally means changing how you see your audience. Instead of seeing them as lecturers who are evaluating you, maybe you can convince yourself that they are all fellow students who are waiting to present after you. They are all equally nervous, so there is no reason why you should be, too.

Use Visual Aids As Much As You Can

Imagine a presentation with beautiful slide presentations and even more impressive notes given to each of your audience members. Most of the time, their attention will not be on you. They will read through the notes and watch your presentation. This will help a lot as you can then speak to the people who are not looking at you. When they look at you, you just change your focus to other people who are not looking. Giving a speech to people who are not looking at you is always easier. It’s just like taking a Skype call.

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I Speak…

coachOne of the biggest problems with writing a speech is knowing where to begin. There are many people out there who would happily write your speech for you—but for those public speakers who really want to hit their audience and hold their sway, there has to be a level of self-knowledge. You need to know how to open your speech—how will your audience react to what you have to say? How does your personality grab your audience? Are you patriotic? Are you revolutionary? What does the world think about you and what you have to say? Take a look at these speech openers, and see if you can see yourself starting with some of these…

Thank You Very Much

Some of the best speakers start by thanking the audience for coming and thanking the organization for inviting you to speak. Refer to the person who introduced you or to one or more of the senior people in the organization in the audience. This compliments them, makes the feel proud and happy about your presence, and connects you into the audience like an electrical plug in a socket. As someone once told me—manners are more important in business than degrees.

Think Positive, Start Positive, Be Positive

You can begin by telling the audience members how much they will like and enjoy what you have to say. Explain how positive you feel the audience is towards you, and that you are excited to get to know the people in front of you. Keep a level of positivity and people will engage with you.

Compliment the Audience

You can begin by complimenting the audience members sincerely and with great respect. Smile as if you are really glad to see them, as if they are all old friends of yours that you have not seen for quite a while. How about telling them that it is a great honor for you to be here, that they are some of the most important people in this business or industry, and that you are looking forward to sharing some key ideas with them.

The Audacity of Hope

Remember, the ultimate purpose of speaking is to inspire people to do things that they would not have done in the absence of your comments. Everything you say should relate to the actions you want people to take and the reasons that they should take those actions.

Question Time…

You can open by making a positive statement and then asking a question requiring a show of hands. How about starting with one crucial question that everyone in the room will have an answer to: “Who here wants to be a billionaire?”

Refer to a Recent Conversation

Some of the greatest public speakers start by telling a story. Some of the most effective stories are recent conversations. “I was talking to Bill the other day—we were discussing this event, and he told me that the people in Louisiana are some of the best people you could ever hope to meet. I have been here for a few hours, my first visit to the great state of Louisiana, and I have to say that Bill was completely correct. This is the best event in the country, bar none.” See? Complimenting, telling a story and engaging will have them listening from the get-go.

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I Speak…

fear1We’ve looked at some of the major ways to learn how to better your public speaking, but this week we are going to look at a few things it would be unwise to do. Many public speakers fall into these traps—but with a little bit of help, you will avoid them altogether and forge a successful and powerful speaking personality.

Don’t Forget to Tailor Your Speech to Your Audience

Ask yourself: “Who is my audience? What are their issues? How does my message actually help them? How much do they know about my topic? What will I ask them to do in response to my message?” All the best practices in public speaking depend upon this first tenet: Know Your Audience, and know them well enough to realize that they want what they want.

Those Wanderin’ Eyes

From beginners to veterans, the majority of speakers fail to maintain meaningful, sustained eye contact with their listeners. Lack of eye contact implies a list of offenses: insincerity, disinterest, detachment, insecurity, shiftiness, and even arrogance. To visually connect with your audience, try to maintain eye contact for at least two to three seconds per person, or long enough to complete a full phrase or sentence. Effective eye communication is the most important nonverbal skill in a speaker’s toolbox.

Yes, Your Mannerisms Can Be Annoying

There are, at least, twenty common tics to tackle, including: clenching or wringing your hands, pacing back and forth, keeping your hands in pockets, jingling change or keys, twisting your ring, gripping the lectern, licking your lips, adjusting your hair or clothing, fidgeting with a pen, bobbing your head, placing your arms behind your back, and touching your face. Record yourself speaking and watch the playback. Practice often to increase your comfort level and reduce anxiety.

You Didn’t Have Time to Rehearse?

Most great speakers prepare. To optimize their perception of you and get the outcome you want, perform the entire presentation aloud at least once, and the opening and closing at least three times. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that you know what you are doing and saying, without having to put the work into presentation.

“That Speaker Lacked Energy…”

Enthusiasm is an audience’s most desired trait in a presenter. Conversely, a boring delivery — evidenced by a low monotone voice, dull facial expressions, and overall lethargy — is their most disliked trait. Ever see the movie “Ferris Bueller?” Think about that droning teacher and avoid channeling him at all costs. Increase your energy level. Speak expressively, smile naturally when you feel a smile is warranted, move naturally, and enjoy the moment. Just be the speaker everyone knows you can be.

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I Speak…

coachAre you new to public speaking? For those of you who haven’t done it before, it can be absolutely terrifying. How do you start a career in public speaking? It’s a common question. The answer is that you have to be ready to actually get up on the stage and speak publicly. If you haven’t done that previously, you should start preparing. I have put together some tips below that will help you become a solid public speaker… the time to start your new career is now!

Just Do It!

What’s the number one most important tip for becoming an amazing public speaker? You simply need to act against feeling nervous, afraid or as though you have no confidence. Just get out there and do it. The quicker you learn to control your emotions, you can get into a state of flow and connection with your audience. You may make mistakes at first, but those are incredibly valuable learning experiences that are only going to make you stronger and more confident.

Sell Your Strengths

Audiences give more attention to a speaker who’s genuinely engaged and personally invested in their dialog and their personal presentation; it’s incredibly energizing and inspiring!

By playing to your strengths, you need to have a heart-to-heart with yourself about your speaking and your presenting styles. In other words, if you’re definitely not the standup comedian type, you might want to find other ways to add humor than reeling off bad one liners.

It’s also important to share what you’re genuinely passionate about because passion is contagious. Always sell your passion.

Practice Makes Perfect

Can you imagine being invited to give a major talk, pitch or business presentation at a major tradeshow or conference? As an absolute beginner, stepping out in front of a huge audience of people you don’t know can be overwhelming. Why don’t you start by giving short practice presentations in front of coworkers, friends, and even family members? It’s important you start with people you feel comfortable with.

If you have someone in your network who’s a great public speaker, invite them to your practice presentations and ask for tips, suggestions and corrective feedback. Another great tip is to practice in front of a mirror.

You will be very surprised at how quickly your public speaking skills and emotional comfort levels grow within just a few hours of dedicated practice.

Record Your Speech

Take the time to record your voice and your body language using whatever tools you have. Audio and video quality doesn’t matter as much at this point. Using your smart phone with a simple tripod can really do the trick. From there, you can take notes on how you look and sound and make needed changes and improvements. You can also gauge your own reaction to your speech. How does it sound? Could it be improved?

Knowledge & Body Language

When it comes to becoming a truly amazing public speaker, knowledge really is power. Put time aside each day to read, watch, listen to and learn from the world’s leading public speaking and body language experts. Learn from the best to become the best. You may want to read my previous blog post about public speakers for more inspiration.

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