Category Archives: I Speak

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I Teach…

fear11Last week, we discussed ways to communicate. This week, I’d like to look at the reasons why people fail to communicate correctly. Sometimes, even with all the will in the world, we cannot make ourselves connect with others. It may be our problem—or their problem—but it is a problem. This blog article is about discovery. Discovering why people fail to communicate is crucial to becoming a great communicator. Let’s look failure straight in the face and learn from it.

Compromise Is KEY

If one party is unwilling to budge on an issue, no progress can be made; when the other party senses this stubbornness, they’ll immediately stop trying to make their case. Compromise isn’t an admission of defeat — it’s a way of trying to maximize the payoffs between two parties, and if you ignore that, you’ll have only yourself to blame when the conversation stops.

Ultimately, successful conversations are dependent on two people willing to reach a mutually satisfying conclusion.

Didn’t Anyone Listen?

Too many people focus on the speaking part of a conversation; after all, that’s the part you can control. But it’s far more important to be a good listener. Being a good listener first demonstrates that you’re invested in the conversation and makes the other person feel welcome to share his or her thoughts.

Listening prevents interruption and other habits that can interfere with the natural pattern of conversation and provides a stable ground for mutual communication. Finally, and most importantly, listening allows you to hear and understand what the other party needs, giving you context and direction for your response. Without that initial effort, the conversation will never go anywhere.

Where’s the Respect?

When we don’t get respect from people around us, we may feel unsatisfied and withdraw from the situation. Showing respect in conversation is a prerequisite to having a healthy exchange, and even modest or subtle signs of disrespect can throw off that pattern.

Obvious signs of disrespect include insulting or mocking the other party or belittling what they have to say. Subtler signs of disrespect include interruption or changing the subject before it resolves. Aim to show more respect throughout your conversation, even if you aren’t doing anything intentionally disrespectful.

Failure to Communicate in Conversation

Sometimes, the simplest explanation for a failure in conversation is the most accurate. If one party fails to express things in clear and understandable terms, it stands to reason that the other party won’t have any idea what’s going on.

Honesty

Communication can also fail when one party refuses to express what they’re feeling or thinking honestly. It can be hard to be honest when you’re under pressure, or if you have a shy personality type. For example, when you’re trying to make a good impression at work, you may second guess the value of your thoughts. However, honest expression is vital if you want the conversation to progress.

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I Speak…

coach
We’ve been talking about speeches for some time now. You may have a pretty strong understanding of how to make your speech really work. This week, we are going to look at the delivery of your speech. You’ve written it, you’ve got a great closer… but you are nervous about delivery. How can you really push your point across and make yourself heard?

Keep It Real

If there’s one rule, it’s this one: Try to be as authentic as possible.  It’s well known that people can hear it in your voice when you are “real,” and they will love you for it. If you come across as fake, you will lose them.

Keep Learning

Regardless of how many times you’ve made a speech or spoken in public, there is always room for vast improvement. It’s great that you’ve got public speaking experience, but don’t become over confident and think that you can just turn up and present without doing your homework! You might get away with it a couple of times, but eventually you will be caught out.

Pack THAT power!

Your opening statement needs to be powerful. You need to hook those people.  Don’t be afraid to shock your audience, make your audience laugh or hook them with a story that really gets them ready to hear your point. Don’t just open with banalities… Go on the attack and make yourself heard.

Arrangement Is the KEY

Arrange your presentation and make it easy to digest, but keep in mind that you want to make your point. If you can tie everything back to the points you want to make, you will be doing well!

Slow Down… Don’t Move Too Fast

One of the most common faux pas people make when giving a speech, especially if they are new to public speaking, is they rush through their presentation. You need to slow down so that people can take on board what you are saying. If in doubt, record yourself and play it back. If you are speaking faster than the anchor person on the news, you know it’s too fast. Pace yourself to success.

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I Speak…

coachThey stare at you. You stare at them. The silence is deafening. You fidget. You can hardly breathe. You’ve delivered a speech that has kept your audience interested—yet now you are faced with closing it. How can you end your speech as confidently as you opened it? Is it possible? Of course, it is! Try some of these tips and close your speeches with the power of Kennedy, King or Obama.

Close with the Title

Use the title of your speech as your closing words. Last words linger, crystallizing your thoughts, galvanizing your message and mobilizing your audience. Leave them with a seed, a thought, an idea, and they’ll go forward to do great things.

The Invitation

If you want to motivate your audience to do something—invite them to succeed. Close with something that gives them a goal. This is a good way to bring about rousing applause from your audience.

The Circular Close

Refer back to your opening anecdote or quote and say: “We have arrived now to close where we began.” Reiterate the message you want your audience to remember. Summarize the main points and leave them knowing what you talked about.

The Challenge

If you were concluding a speech on the importance of acting, you could rouse them with the importance of participating. Take spectators and turn them into doers. Make them the center of attention, and give them a reason to go out and change their lives.

End with a Quotation

Find a famous quotation relevant to your message and use it like a lever to lift the close of your speech.

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I Speak…

sleepI would like to talk today about structuring a speech. It’s important to put together the right speech, in the right way. In this blog article, I describe five structures. I hope you take them and run with them. These five structures should cover most of the situations in which you find yourself speaking.  Each of these structures can be built to fit your purpose. Let’s look at them.

Problem-Solution Works In Your Favor

Persuasion. That’s why you are giving a speech. Begin by framing the problem. Then go as deeply as you dare into the problem, making both intellectual and emotional arguments for the severity of the problem.  Then go for it! Give the people your solution!

Going Through the Motions

If the subject has strong arguments on all sides of the issue, you may want to use this technique. Explain the problem, and then go through the possible solutions and thoughts of others. Try to give people as much information as you can and then go through all the arguments for solutions as carefully as you can. Give credit, show that you take all sides of the problem and all solutions seriously, then give people your own solution. This will give you credibility and people will listen to your argument with more care.

Tell the Story…

Yes, we are all interested in your new idea and your new product. But why don’t you tell us about it in an interesting way? Try to begin by describing the basic situation, giving only the relevant detail. Introduce a problem. A rival business? A problem in your sector? Then give people the resolution they truly want. Resolve the crisis and become the hero.

Stay in Order

Some hate chronological, some love it. But I think it’s best to start at the end of something. The result. Did you sell 8 million dollars’ worth of product? How did that feel? It must have felt good. Then go to the beginning and explain the situation you were in to start with. Then tell the story in order and bring people back to the success you ended with. This way you have “WOWED” your audience and showed them your path. It’s a winning speech strategy.

Demonstrate Like a Pro

Some businesspeople can do this better than anyone else. It’s salesmanship. Start with the reason. Why is this product or idea important? Why do people need it? What does it solve? Demo the idea and give people a reason to really root for it. Is it cool? Is it something that will save lives? Hint at the future and leave people wanting more.

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I Speak…

coachWe have been talking about public speaking over the last few weeks. We have discussed how to learn about your audience, how to create a rapport—but this week, I’d like to mention a few things that you should try to avoid. If you are planning to make a public speech, try to avoid falling into these tar pits.

“Can everyone hear me out there?”

Inexperienced speakers often make one big mistake. They walk out in front of their audience, tap their microphone and shout into it and ask if the people in the back of the room can hear them. If you’re speaking at a larger conference, there’s a good chance that someone has already checked the audio. It’s always a good idea to check it before you go on stage.

“Are you there? I can’t see you….”

When you’re on stage, the lights can be nearly blinding. But no one needs to know you can’t see anyone in the audience. Simply speak into the dark and give the best presentation you can. In fact, it might be better for you to forget that anyone is out there. Just try to give the audience the impression of your interest—look at them directly and… smile!

“Let me read my presentation to you!”

A presentation full of words is BORING. Use pictures, short phrases and bullet points. Try not to read your slides to the audience. That’s what their eyes are for. Everyone came to see you speak, to share your ideas, not read aloud. Any visuals or props you choose to bring along should only serve to enhance your speech. You’re the speaker—speak. Don’t read!

“I’m sorry… I didn’t prepare…”

Try not to start your presentation with an excuse like this. The people listening to your presentation are expecting you to do your best, regardless of how you feel or how much time you’ve had to prepare. If you don’t have a lot of time to practice, choose a topic that’s familiar to you. If you don’t feel well, keep calm and stay hydrated. Just get out there and entertain, educate and be a public speaker.

“Ermmmmmm…”

Try to avoid conversation breakers such as “um,” “erm,” “uh,” “you know,” and “like.” Using these words too often takes away from the effectiveness of your presentation. They are also distracting and make you sound unsure about what you’re going to say next. Try pausing if you must think of the right word. Just be calm, collected and don’t rush it. Rushing will cause you to have to use filler.

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I Speak…

sleepThis week, we are going to look at preparation for a public speech. We are going to look at how we get to know our audience. One of the first things you will want to do is research the people you will be talking to. How do you get to know them? Well, let’s learn…

Challenge Everything!

When stepping up to learn about an audience, you should keep one thing in mind. Don’t assume anything! Let’s say you’ve decided your audience is middle-aged men. Why? You are speaking to a group of car salesmen. Surely, they are middle-aged men? Wrong. Don’t take anything for granted. Unless you know for sure, keep an open mind.

Read Research from Different Sources

This is entry-level market research at its finest. Read up on some case studies, examples and psychological analyses by speakers who have gone before you. Sources include industry reporters, general market researchers and, in some cases, sociologists. Make sure you are researching your audience from all angles, and make sure your sources are credible.

Be Frankenstein! Create Your Customer

Once you’ve learned about your audience and you have a grasp of who they are, start putting together a fictional customer. Who is he? What does he want? What traits does he have? What kind of income? What kind of background? What music does he listen to? What does he drive? Try to understand your audience on all levels. You can’t connect unless you have the information to allow the connection. What do you have in common with your audience?

Surveys… Use Surveys

Whenever you are looking to talk to an audience, try to get a survey to them before you meet them. Start on a large scale and try to cover the widest cross section you possibly can. Give your customers multiple choice questions—and ask relevant questions.

Look, Listen and Learn From others

Your competitors may have already spoken to this audience, and may already have the data you need. If you are targeting the same audience, you can observe their talk and follow their footsteps. This is a good way of learning from an older, wiser competitor. Listen, learn and follow their path to success. If they failed—try to work out WHY they failed.

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I Speak…

coachGetting to actually know your audience is a crucial part of giving a presentation. This blog article is all about actually knowing the audience you are going to talk to. Sincerity is one of your biggest selling tools. Being sincere will go a long way towards warming your audience to your presentation. But how can you be sincere if you don’t know your audience? Why don’t we find out?

Ask, Ask and Ask Again

The more you know about your audience, the better your presentation will be. A good public speaker will ask questions. Before you even get on the stage, you should meet with your demographic and find out about them. What would you like to know? How would you like to hear it? What would be crucial to you? Then you need to actually research the presentation area itself. How big is the room? How is it laid out? You need intel, and that should be your first priority. Know, ask and find out everything you can before you set up a presentation.

Let’s Get Personal, Personal!

If you can, you should try meeting your audience before the presentation. Who put the event together? Who is the boss? Who is the chairman? Find out and befriend these people. Once you have these people on side, the others will be a piece of cake. If you can connect with the decision makers, they will give you legitimacy and will help you create a relationship with the group as a whole.

Engage!

From the start, you should be looking to engage with your audience. Some audiences might enjoy plays on words, topical humor, political nuances, even raunchiness. A series of great questions may be the way to engage your audience. You need to be ready to actually get your hands dirty and engage with those people waiting to hear you talk.

Know, Know, Know Your Audience and What They Know

You are the expert on your subject. But how much does your audience know? This is a critical question that can make or break a presentation. No matter how slick and together you are, if you talk over everyone’s head, they’ll be baffled, not enthralled. On the other hand, if the audience is up to speed, they may find that your presentation is less than engaging.

Say “NO” to Being a Diva

No one likes a selfish speaker, and nothing derails a good presentation faster than a presenter who is more interested in presenting themselves than their subject. You must be authoritative and confident when you step in front of a group of peers, but you must never be cocky or over-confident. Focus on the material, not yourself, and you’ll go far!

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I Speak…

writingA huge part of public speaking is knowing about your audience, and knowing how you are going to approach that audience. This week’s public speaking article is all about your relationship with your audience. How do you capture their interest, and how do you know what their interest is? How do you turn a mundane subject into something people will want to listen to? Well, buckle up, and let’s take a look at some of the steps!

Research and Understand Your Audience

When you are in front of a business audience, it is important to know their background. Are they colleagues, middle managers or trainees? Finding out about their business experience and their companies will be very important. Armed with this information, you can make a passing reference to their company’s history or profile, which they can relate to. You can tie your information to the subject that matters to them.

Go Beyond Your Words…

You are communicating a message or information, or entertaining. Or it may be a combination of all three. The words you are using are merely a vehicle for conveying your ideas. They are not sufficient on their own. You must feel what you are saying.

Don’t JUST Read Your Speech

There are several reasons why this could be disastrous. If you just stand in front of the audience and read, you will be in danger of boring your listeners. Remember that really dull college professor who droned on for hours on end? That would be you. The more you read, the more you will chance mumbling and failing to make eye contact. Improvise, and feel your way towards a great speech.

Practice, Practice, Practice

You need to get really familiar with the contents of your speech. If you lack confidence, the best way to do this is to try and memorize the main points, and you can use a list of notes for this. You have to go over and over it again, timing yourself so that you do not go over the time allocated. If you prefer, you can also use cards with the main points on them, just in case you forget. A good idea is to number the cards, just in case you drop them! Give it a try—it’ll work like a charm.

Become Personal

No, don’t take this the wrong way. Nobody wants to hear the ins and outs of your divorce. But people still love stories. An anecdote or two can work wonders. Tell them about your personal involvement in a project and what went right or wrong. Jokes are great, too, although these should be kept to a minimum. All these things are important for bonding with your audience.

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I Speak…

sleepSo, we’ve spoken at length about public speaking and ways to excel as a public speaker—but we haven’t spoken about actually getting work as a public speaker. This blog is all about ways to find work. It’s not easy to convince someone to pay you to speak—sometimes it will seem impossible—but if you truly want to be a paid public speaker, you should be exploring these avenues.

Universities, Colleges and Schools

Look around you. Chances are, you live close to a university, college, state school, technical school, or some other educational institution. Team up with a professor or department head to hold a forum a subject relevant to you and the educator’s interest group. Invite people from the community to attend, as well.

Network in Your Business Groups

These lead exchange or facilitated networking groups are designed to be a tightly knit group of individuals from diverse businesses who meet regularly for the purpose of bringing business opportunities to the other members. Popular groups are Le Tip, Business Networking International (BNI), and Local Business Network (LBN). Join your preferred group and let the members know that you’re interested in speaking opportunities.

Clubs and Special Interest Groups

Music fanatic? Mother of a child? Coder with mad skills? No matter what your interest or circumstance, there’s a group for it. And if you can share information on a topic that’s relevant to its members, they’ll welcome you as a speaker.

Local Publications

Most areas have a magazine or newspaper devoted to area business news. Check out the periodical’s Events page (in print or online), then contact the organizations who have listed presentations and pitch them for speaking.

Your Clients

No need to get all fancy and overlook one of your most highly qualified sources! Ask your clients which groups they belong to and whether they accept outside speakers.

Other Professionals Who Speak Professionally

Look around at your colleagues, competitors, and other professionals who target the same audience you do. Check their websites and LinkedIn profiles to see where they’ve spoken. You can follow in their footsteps.

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I Speak…

coachMost people feel fear at some point in their life. When speaking in public, people can find themselves panicking. I hear from these people quite often, and I wanted to put together some tips that would allow people to really get to grips with their fear of public speaking. We all know that it can be terrifying to stand in front of ten, ten thousand, or ten million people and speak—but all it really takes is organization, practice and focus… Let’s take a look at the tips.

 

Organization Is Success

When you organize all of your thoughts and materials, it helps you to become much more relaxed and calm. When you have clear, organized thoughts, it can greatly reduce your speaking anxiety because you can better focus on the one thing at hand—giving a great speech.

The Two P’s—Practice and Prepare

Nothing takes the place of practicing and preparing for your speech. Write out a script of your key points, but don’t speak from it word for word. Prepare for your speech so well that you could answer any possible question thrown at you.

Afraid of Rejection? Don’t Be So Hasty…

“What if my audience hates my speech? What if they boo me off stage?” Try to eliminate all of your fears of rejection. The audience is there to listen to you for a reason.

Focus

When you speak, try to get into a rhythm or a flow. Keep you sentences short and to the point and repeat key points. A short pause in between points can add anticipation for what you are going to say next.

Watch and Learn from Yourself

Pay special attention to:

  • Your facial expressions
  • Your gestures and habits
  • Your body movements
  • How friendly you appear

When you have gentle expressions and a calm demeanor when you speak, you will be more welcoming to your audience.

Record your speech on your phone or video camera. Record yourself giving the talk from beginning to end. Then listen to it or watch it, and make notes on how you could make it better. Some people do not like listening to the sound of their voice on tape, so it is important that you get used to your own voice and speaking style.

Give Your Speech to Another Person

There are plenty of people you can practice on. Be sure to tell the person to be completely honest with you in their critique.

Examples of people you can practice on:

  • Your partner
  • Your close friends
  • Your parents

Speaking directly to another person with whom you feel comfortable will help relax you and give you experience with getting feedback from someone. If they have questions about your speech, it is likely that members of an audience will have the same questions.

There’s Always a Teacher

Find a talented coach or mentor. There are many groups that you can join to learn the art of public speaking. Toastmasters may be the choice for you. It is non-profit and helps people get over their fears by having them practice speaking on subjects over and over.

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